:  Things are great one day, so-so the next in sobriety.   Just when I have to Live and Let Live....I forget the LIVE part.  That is,  LIVE for me, MY LIFE.    Wonder if I will ever get it down pat.  Just beefin' and appreciate any feedback.          

It reminds me of that Paul McCarney & WIngs song too...   Live & let live or Live & let die....   Either way we are only responsible for ourselves. 

Don't be too hard on yourself, that's part of being human is having good days along with bad...  I think HP is just trying to remind us to look to the heavens within our own hearts to find HP is right there.

I don't know about your story specifically -- but having been suicidal & depressed for 20 years, I can tell you that one things that has helped me tremendously is writing.  Whether it is an angry letter to a person that I'll never send (or even burn), a sad poem, or lists...  I make a lot of lists & it is amazing what you will come up with!

I think about sounds that I love, smells, sights, experiences, places, songs, people, ideas, hopes/dreams - it's amazing & it really helps!  Anything I can think of or do that helps bring me back to a SIMPLE place of innocence & joy - that I know I have in my heart & Soul.  Also being so serious & sensitive & wounded, I watch as much comedy & cartoons as possible, it gives me a lot of levity.  Even watching Animal Planet's Funniest Videos, it comes on twice a day & the naimals always make me laugh!

Ppl keep talking about pets too, they are so unconditionally loving, loyal & empathetic.  I have 3 cats now & whenever I'm sad or having a hysterical fit of crying, they take turns coming up to me, sitting on me, kissing my hands & rubbing my face w/ theirs.  They have loved me so much!  (Okay, I don't know if you meditate or anything but Meditating in a park or back yard, feeling the sun is a great ease to me & this is the crazy one - but hug a tree...  I have done it maybe only 6 times in my life but find a private area, pick a tree you like, hug a tree for a whole minute or two -- you get a deep sense of peace, letting go & knowing -- at least this is the experience I have had.  I think nature is very wise & quite clearly in the rythym of God's divine plan).

I will happily share some of my favorite things in my "lists" with you now...

a few of my favorite thingss are: birds chirping; my cats purring; the sound of my mom's dogs playing (sight too); the sound (& smell) of popcorn popping; the smell of fresh laundry; the sight/sound of waterfalls, ocean or fountains; the sight of a family playing in their yard w/ their dogs gives me a great smile....    I could write a book about it, simple pleasures that bring me back to a human being & not a human 'doing!'

When I'm really distraught, I take a super hot bath w/ bath salts & soak for a long time, deep conditiion my hair & have a cold rinse & curl up in bed w/ my cats for a good nap.

I have been running a degree or two low temperature for a month now...  I know it's as dangerous as a fever (it's partly why I haven't been here all month) but I realize it is God telling me to Not Stress, Slow Down, Relax & Rest.  I am trying to be gentle with myself.

I even went so far as to look up in a book about Shamans, it has a lot of animals as guides & powers in it...  I picked some of my favorites like the unicorn, the dragon, the deer, the butterfly & bought beanie babies of those animals to help me remeber that I am protected, I can be gentle with myself, I can change at will & my dreams can come true!

-a friend in recovery, -k