The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You know, when I came on tonight, after not being on for awhile, I was upset that my A had gone out without me, when he KNEW I had wanted to go, and he had just offered to take me out tomorrow to appease me. I was taking it very personally. But after reading all these posts, something just hit me, like a ton of bricks, and I FINALLY realized, that he is just selfish, that it is a selfish disease, and it is not ME. I don't know why it has taken me so long. So I want to say thank you to everyone. It helps me just to read the posts and know I am not alone. Thanks again!
Nope, you are not alone at all Leah, and that was a good post.... One day, you'll even be able to find an even fresher perspective, where you can be "thrilled" that he's gone out without you, giving you some valuable "Leah time" with yourself!!
Take care
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
You're starting to realize what the disease is all about. That's good. Tom is right about "your time".
But please be very careful about the "physical encounters", it can get dangerous for both of you. In my book any kind of physical violence are not acceptable. My A was abused (not sexually) by his mother and his first wife. We have never raised a hand to each other. If you ever feel in danger, list to debilynn about contacting Jon. Or get to a shelter. Please. Words are often hurtful enough without adding the physical aspect to it.
You must take care of yourself. Keep the focus on you. You'll learn to love with detachment. You'll learn to set some boundaries. You can and will do this.
Love and hugs to you.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
A little acronym and a visual I got from an Al Anon conference. A chairperson passed out Q-tips to each of us who walked into the room. :)
And then he shared that Q-Tip means "Quit Taking It Personal" when things A's (or any other person) does for themselves whether they are being selfish or self-caring.
Great post! Keep working it :)
yours in recovery,
Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
