I remember coming into the program not knowing what it was all about, other than it was for family and friends of alcoholics.  I had no idea how it would help me, but had been told a few years prior by a co-worker how wonderful the program was and that it had helped her.  She didn't go into details, all I knew was she was then a happy person with wonderful things happening in her life.  So I finally ended up here....and of course the first thing I did was blurt out why I was here, all my anger, pain, hurt, frustration, etc.  I was told how we work the steps and focus on ourself.  I continued coming back, most days sharing what "He" had done that day and how "He" was making me feel and how I wished "He" would do something about "his" problem, etc. etc. 

Someone said to me, "you have a bad case of the he he he's"

Huh? The he he he's?  Then it dawned on me what they were saying.  All I had been doing was talking about him.  He this, he that, he he he's.  

What I should have been doing is talk about me.  I this, I that, I feel, etc.  This program IS about me, not him.  It's about what am I going to do for me.  How am I going to fix my own problems or at least my part of the problem.  Am I going to react, or am I going to act.  Does he really "make" me feel (insert any mood here) or am I allowing myself to feel that way?  Just who controls how I feel?  I am capable of deciding whether I am going to smile or frown.  I do have that choice.  I own it.  It's mine.  I can give myself a little pep talk when I start feeling down.  I can remind myself of things that are good in my life.  I can lift myself out of my gloom by focusing on these good things, by knowing that yes it might be raining but eventually the rain stops and the sun does come back out.  And we need that rain to help things grow, so I should not look upon it as a terrible thing that I cannot endure.  I have friends here who understand, who stand beside me and encourage me.  Who do not judge me when I fall back into that he he he pattern, but gently help me to re-focus on myself. 

I love how the Al-Anon program continues to enrich my life.  I love how it doesn't expect perfection from me, but understands that progress is often made through many trials and errors.  I love knowing that it's okay for me to make mistakes, that I can admit to being wrong now, and that I can make amends and strive to learn from those mistakes and not repeat them.  I, I, I.....I love that I can now make I statements.  *wink* 

Thank you all for being here!