The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just need to get some stuff off my chest about work. I took off some time from work. (since July 4th) I was fighting with my boss and told his boss about his inablilty to manage many times. Which I'm sure got back to him. Well I asked for some time off at the begining of the summer. Well now I want to go back. I've been with the company for 16 years and the benifits are great. Also the money is really good and the hours are prefect for me. I called my boss a week ago to go back. Was not put on the schedule so I left a message, than a second message. He just called tonight to set up a meeting on friday about me coming back. The schedule goes up on wed so I know I will not be put on the schedule. I don't think he wants me back, I guess I don't blame him. I'm a very good employee I love my job but when A was active I was insane. I took it out on my boss for not being perfect. I wonder is their anything i can say to keep my job. Will i be fired. Will i be able to keep my mouth shut and just take it. I'm scared i really don't want to lose my job. What will i do. Where will i work. Lots of jobs out their but the pay is not great. I'm trying to give this to my Hp and let it go. Why is it driving me crazy I can't sleep been up since 1:30 am and now it is 4:00am. Why the meeting can't he just tell me over the phone your fired. Why do I care so much.
I'm going nuts. Thanks for letting me vent. Any advise to save my job let me know. Or to help get over it.
Hi there - thanks for responding to me - fears & panic - the order for the day? I can see where you're concerened. I write my fears down on a list - fear about not getting an apt., fear about no $ etc., then - Dear God (my HP) I'm powerless over these fears.....etc......then I pray, asking him to restore me to sanity, then as a step 3 action I take my list & put it in a God drawer or place - the tangible act helps somewhat. It's something I can physically - action at 4am - gets the fear on paper. Today's Courage to Change page is good too. Then after I do all this - my sponsor says, "Your HP will take care of you". Ok - hard to turn the fear into faith. I totally relate to you - fear of loosing your job. Would it hurt to call and ask what the meeting is about? I don't know - not much on advise either. I'm sure you'll check the schedule Wed. & let us know. I want to know everything right now & how all the questions will be answered. It seems my HP gives me just enough light for the step I'm on - just info for today. I could be grateful for that b/c if I knew everything that would happen my head would explode. HP knows I couldn't handle that I guess. Well 4:24am now - think I'll try to get some rest - I wish you the best. Let me know how it goes.
One thing I know I do as an Al-Anon is worry about the future and take a pessimistic view of things. I didn't used to do this, but gradually over the past 8-10 years I have gotten sick. For years, I was stuck in a job with a sober A supervisor who was just like my mother. He was critical, demanding, blew hot & cold, and had rages. I had called my mother's behavior back into my experience. I looked for another job and couldn't find one. Finally I just gave up. I wish I could say I gave the whole situation over to my HP with complete trust & faith, but that isn't true. However, things turned out well anyway. The head of my company sold the business and I retained my job, transferring to another office with new job responsibilities. My new supervisor is wonderful and keeps telling me what a good job I'm doing. This is so beyond my wildest dreams and expectations that I can't even wrap my head around it yet. Most of the time, my doomsday thoughts never happen. What if I were to entertain a higher thought, a greater expectation of my HP's goodness? What if a job loss or a heart-to-heart with my supervisor was the best thing that ever happened to me? Maybe I don't know how to make everything come out well, but I have a HP that does. {{{{{{Nikkilou}}}}}}}}
If you care , then you gotta try. Otherwise, you'll never know, besides bosses love contrite good workers.....and if you explain to him? or ask him if he needs explanation? If you want the job, then play the game....be a good actress. Just say you're ready to work hard and good.
