The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am doing a lot better these days. Working on doing things for me (and my kids) not my A. I have started going to 2 f2f meetings a week ....not sure if i will be able to keep this up since i need someone to watch our foster child when I'm away! I'm going to kep trying though! I have set a few boundries and am sticking to them. This is making things at home a little tougher.. but i am trying not to let it get to me. It is tough but thats the way it goes.
I know the next thing i need is to get a sponsor. I have been working on the steps but could desprately use help! I am to a point where I am stuck. I have been listening at meetings for someone who seems like would make a good sponsor. No one has jumped out. There is one person who I have this odd feeling about... but she doesn't talk too much. I'm not sure what feelings I have towards her since I really haven't heard much from her. Don't know what to do so I can get a sponsor . Should I ask ther person who I have wierd feelings towards even though I really haven't heard much from her????? Do I just ask one of the people who have been extra nice to me????
I could use some ESH of how people got their first sponsor. Any advice or thougts would be greatly appreciated.
How I got my first sponsor....well, I started Al-Anon in the chat room here. I was in here just about every day for hours and hours. I then went to my first ftf about 2 or 3 weeks later. I can't remember how long I attended ftf before asking for a sponsor....I just remembered I sat and listened to everyone share, I observed them looking to see who seemed to be happy with their life now, who had that "serenity" we speak of, who knew the program well and would share with good program knowledge. I also looked to see who out of all of them I could relate to and might be able to relate with me, with my situation. Most of the women were much older than me. At first I thought this was a drawback. I know differently now *smile*. I finally narrowed it down to 2 ladies. The one I asked goes to meetings almost every day, is the literature servant, and happened to be the sponsee of the other lady...LOL. She was just very approachable and when I needed someone to talk to, it was her number I called from our phone list. So it made sense to me to ask her. She got me into service work right away, encouraged me to volunteer as the group secretary. I jokingly told her, well, now that I'm secretary I HAVE to be at meetings...LOL. But ya know, that really wasn't so much a joke, it did help me to keep going. I have since moved and there are only a few meetings here in our new town. I wasn't feeling a real "click" with anyone but was feeling a real need to get step work started. So I asked someone from online chat to sponsor me, and that has worked out well so far too.
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Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
I so remember the fear I had over asking someone to sponsor me! It took me 2 years to buck up the courage and just ask. People had told me that it is an honour to be asked, it is no reflection on you if the chosen person is unable, for whatever reason, to take on sponsorship right now.
Anyway, I confided in various Alanon friends, and was quite shocked at their suggestions for a sponsor! It is a very personal thing, I too, narrowed it down to 2 ladies, thankfully, the first one said - not exactly Yes, but, lets meet up a few times and see how we get on. She has been a wonderful sponsor to me, like Kismet's sponsor, she is an older person, longtime Alanon. We dont always agree, she has been around a long time and not too keen on changes!
Worst thing that can happen is that person you approach is unable to say yes, right now. I sincerely hope you find someone, it brings a new dimension to our recovery.
. Should I ask ther person who I have wierd feelings towards even though I really haven't heard much from her????? Do I just ask one of the people who have been extra nice to me????