sad and confused - Al-Anon Family Group

Kim · Senior Member

sad and confused

bubbles1990 · Senior Member

Hang in there ((((((kim)))) i am sure this is very hard on you!!

Your in my thoughts and prayers!!

no you are not being selfish you have ever right to your feelings about your stepdaughter!

Just take one day at a time and focus on you sweetie!!

Love bubbles123

mom to 2 · Senior Member

Kim,

I know it doesn't help much--but I learned in alanon that their behavior does not mean that they don't love us. I'm sure he does love you, but he's an addict. They are not trying to hurt us, and in fact, hate themselves for hurting people. I once asked my A--"why do you continue to do this to us" and he said "I'm not doing it to you, I'm doing it to me".

in support,

mom to 2

Karilynn · ~*Service Worker*~

Kim,

You're not being selfish. You're grieving that's all. That's part of the healing process. It's also natural to feel overwhelmed. Anybody would be. The stress alone of just moving drives me crazy!

Add to it all the other issues! Holy cow how does one do it? But you are.

Allow those feelings to be there. By all means have a good cry, you're entitled to it. You'll get use to all the changes. Don't rush it. Don't let anyone tell you what you should be feeling or how long it should take you to "get over it." This is your recovery, and nobody else's.

You will always be kept in our prayers.

Live strong,
Karilynn

Maria123 · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((Kim)))))),

A wonderful book regarding loss. It has beautiful poems in it that will make you cry and laugh and help you deal with your emotions because if you don't deal with them now and let them ebb and flow, they will always be there on the surface.

How to Survive the Loss of a Love (Mass Market Paperback)
by Peter McWilliams, Harold H. Bloomfield, Melba Colgrove

yours in recovery,
Maria123

Kim · Senior Member

Hello all:

thank you all for your words of encouragement. It is so sad and I am grieving. I have had many a good cry and last night as I was writing my post was one of them. My problem is three fold, 1) since my stepdaughter's mother will not allow my A to see her right now, I don't feel it is fair to HER to take everything away from her. Her mother doesn't have the best of circumstances and I feel that she shouldn't lose her room and my family who in essence have provided her with much more of a family than my A's family. 2) My family. My parents (mostly my stepmother) have been putting an incredible amount of pressure on me about seeing her as well as constantly judging the situation I'm in and asking why I can't give it another chance and how my marriage will never work out with us living apart. I have explained ad naseum about addiction/alcoholism to them ,however, they are SO naive to it it goes in one ear and out the other. and 3) My A: his calling about my anniversary and having my stepdaughter makes me feel as if I should see him although I do not want to go back on my word (Get Sober, then we will talk). As i said in my original post I AM SO CONFUSED. At any rate please help.

Dolphin123 · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((Kim))))))),

You are in my prayers!

Much Love,

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