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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Tammy
Post Info TOPIC: Tammy
browneyes


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Tammy
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Hey there


Just wondering how you are doing-last time you posted you were leaving your husband.  I was just hoping you were ok, as ok as you can be at a time like this.  Please post if you have the time and resources.


Love Julie D.



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Tammy


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Hi,

No, I am not okay.. I am still vertical but hollow and feeling all alone right now. I went to see my counselor today and she was honest .. Said that I am being selfish by staying. The impact on the children is so great and I am allowing this to continue. All things that I needed to hear. It validated me but didnt make me feel any better. This is so hard, and I know that she is RIGHT.. My children are really paying the price for this relationship. It is so SAD.. I am so SAD.. I have slotted tomorrow as moving day.. My husband will be working and I think it will be easier that way. I say that however, I havent called the person with the condo to tell him I need the keys.. Not sure why but cant seem to dial the phone. I looked at the condo last night and it is on the atlantic ocean ( i live in florida ) beautiful as you would expect. I should be jumping up and down not feeling the way I do ..

My husband is out, probably drinking who knows and I am going to another f2f .. I am hoping that the meeting will give me the added strength that I need to get thru the next few months and beyond.

Thanks for you care and concern..

Tammy

Please PRAY.. I need all the help I can get .


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Tammy
Kim


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Tammy: 


 


Good luck in everything and you will make the best decision for you in the end.  I pray you have the strength you are asking for.  I know how hard it is to leave (or make someone leave).  Being alone has been hard but not as hard as I thought. Be thankful for the children you have and that in that you are truly not alone.  Without a companion or children I am alone here every night and somehow get through each day.  Some are easier than others.  You will be fine, concentrate on you and the kids.  Love and prayers.  Kim



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UncleLou


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Tammy wrote:




...I went to see my counselor today and she was honest .. Said that I am being selfish by staying...


 


I'm feeling pretty sad reading this. I can't help but think that this was the same advice my ex got from her latest counselor, the one I never met. It's my weekend with the kids. My ex and I are still in the same house (the one I built for us) till it sells, so things are a little wierd right now. Today I picked up my daughter from school early, she has a cold. I got caught up on laundry. I continued my job seach, wrote some follow up after-interview letters, and did some investment real estate research. Got done with grocery shopping and am cooking home made chicken soup for us for dinner. Have no idea where my ex is, probably with her boyfriend. I can relate to your feelings of loneliness. I know this was probably for the best, but right now I feel like I would like my ex to walk through the door tonight, relax while I finish cooking, and enjoy a meal with the kids. Am I still delusional?  Should I feel bad for thinking she was selfish in her decision?  I guess I'm still on the pity pot over everything that happened and the way it happened. I need to accept that I'm getting what I deserved.



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browneyes


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Hi Tammy


I am definately praying for you and your children right now.  I know that when my husband threw the phone and had a tantrum in front of my terrified children last year, it was time for me to go.  I just woke up one morning and it was like my HP was guiding me to get help and take my babies far away from the "monster"  my husband had become.  Being afraid in my own home was not okay for me anymore. And we were just fine and I lived one day at a time and I trusted in my HP to help me be okay and we were.  Everything fell into place when I let it.


When I stopped my recovery, was when I slipped and went back to the chaos after his rehab stint.  I didn't wait long enough, dangit and he relapsed once he had us back in his clutches and hasn't stopped using since.  But I have found my Alanon again and that is a blessing.  Things are not great at all between us but our home is calm for the children.  Just keep working the program and your HP will guide you-Let Go and Let God and I have a feeling you will be okay, too.


Love Julie



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