The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Finally got my hair done. I made a nice dinner for friends of mine tonight. I enjoy cooking and haven't done much since my A has been gone (we used to cook together). Those were the good things I did for me. I've been sad these past few days thinking about my A and the separation. As much as I said, "don't contact me" and as much as I don't want him too, I still feel sad that he hasn't, am I crazy? I called my stepdaughter's mother last night and i will have her this weekend and I am really happy about that. So I am trying to do things that I enjoy but I still feel like I'm missing something. I woke up at 5 am and cried...this is a whole new rollercoaster.
Kim , I think its probably natural to feel sad after what you have been through. And then anytime there is a devorce or seperation, its like loseing someone.
keep doing positive things to help get you through.
Good to hear you are taking good care of you! In my humble opinion, I think what you may be feeling is grief. It has been my experience that with grieving I need to go thru...there is no way around it. It is a sad but very real truth...I need to feel the feelings, acknowledge them for what they are. Grief has its own timetable and each and everyone of us are unique. Be gentle with you as you place one foot in front of the other. Keeping you in prayer.
Love in recovery - Jeri
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The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I know how you feel about your A not contacting you. I left my A 6 weeks ago today. I had set a boundary with him in the way he talked to me and he crossed that boundary and I decided to leave. I did not hear anything from him for 3 weeks and that was only because I contacted him. I think I wanted him to care enough about our marriage that he would be willing to do anything to get me back but that was not happening. I was taking it as failure on my part. Maybe if I would have done this, or maybe if I would have done that he would care more about me and our marriage. When I was able to finally see that he was in denial it helped me put a whole new light on the situation and ease up on myself. That's when I was able to put the focus back on me. Keep up the good work on putting the focus back on you. Do things you like to do. Treat yourself. Love yourself. Be true to yourself. I know that seperation from your A is hard but it does get easier over time.
Sometimes doing the simplest things for ourselves is the greatest reward. This winter when I was putting all my energy into taking care of my A, I felt like I lost the old me. Know what? I was in the process of losing the old me. The one that loves to cook, and listen to music and all those other things. I was woring about money, that if I didn't pay my rent on time we would get kicked out. Like that was really going to happen! I've been in the same place for 11 years. I've got a great landlord. So I called my landlord and told him that I was going to short the rent just enough so that I could get my haircut. Great guy that he is, he paid the rest for me! How sweet was that?
You'll get use to being alone. Shimo is right, this is a form of grieving. A person doesn't have to die in order for you to grieve. It's natural. In time you'll learn how to deal with it. It's gets easier to handle.
Keep doing great things for you. We're proud of you. Hang in there.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I agree with everyone else that you are probably going through grief... Just take it one day at a time and if you need to cry then cry it is a good thing!!!
So I am trying to do things that I enjoy but I still feel like I'm missing something. I woke up at 5 am and cried...this is a whole new rollercoaster. 