The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last night was the last I heard from my A. He had called to finally give me the VIN# for the car. I ordered the title, and now it's done. He switched over his phone to his name. I am off the hook. whew. The last of the conversation he said that he was going to respect my wishes to be left alone. He understood and felt that he did need to "get some time together" and that it was best for me. He really still isn't getting it. I love him, but I can't live this way. I asked him, in your heart don't you feel like this is over? He said "I still have my ring on and I hope that eventually this will work out". Today, I don't see it. A week from today would have been my three year anniversary. I'm sad about that. I'm sad ironically that he did respect my feelings and has left me alone (albeit for 24 hrs). But there is that part of me that has serenity and I am thankful for that. I have not been great at doing things for myself in the past. I am trying these days the best I can. I went bowling Saturday night with a bunch of friends who dragged me and although I haven't bowled since I was probably 10, I had a great time. Nights are quiet, I have my dog now and she is wonderful. I'll be 35 next Monday and I have no children. In the separation the relationship with my stepdaughter has been strained. I used to have her every other weekend since she was five (she is now ten) and now...nothing. I guess I am struggling with the reality and the changes in my life. Today the agency I work for put out a notice that they will sponsor one worker to go to Texas to help with Hurricane Relief. I have been asking to go since it happened. I put my name in first, and I hope and pray that I can go. Please say a prayer. Thanks to everyone for all your loving support. This site has kept me going........Love, Kim
Sounds like it was not the best of days for you. Any time a relationship ends, it's hard. It's also very normal to still love the person even if you can't be together right now. Change is hard, scary and overwhelming. But give it time and things will settled down.
You are so brave and strong for thinking of your recovery, and life. You will find ways to cope with the lonliness and solitude. I was alone for so many years that my husband and I had a tough time at first. In time you will find great strength and serenity in solitude. That doesn't mean that you're going to become a hermit. You'll be fine.
Always remember what they say: When God closes a door, he opens a window. There's always something arund the corner.
You're a wonderful, compassionate human being to want to help the hurricane victims. I say this next thing with all due respect (and as someone who use to do this): please don't use your generous heart to help the victims as an way to run away from things that have yet to be faced. I'm not saying that your intentions are not noble nor genuine. But make sure to take the time to help yourself. I hope you understand what I mean.
Good luck to you. Keep us posted. You're in our thoughts and prayers.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
((((((((KIM)))))))))))))) you sounded as though you needed a hug.....remember that the end of something is just the begining of something new.....Hang in there, do something nice for yourself....
