The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I emailed our pastor about my "A". I have threatened my "A" many times about going to our pastor about this, and I dont think he ever thought I would. I still have mixed feelings about it. I dont know if it was the right thing to do. I need his help but I know that my "A" will be completely humiliated when he finds out. It's just that I am getting desperate. This morning my "A"'s friends dropped him off back home early, because he went out last night and stayed over. He comes in a starts drinking, and by 11:30am he is already passed out. I stared at him as he was passed out and I really hated him. I took my son and left to go to my parents house for a few hrs. I didnt want to see him when he woke up. I didnt think I could hold it together. I talked to him a few hours later and I told him I'd be home soon. He sounded sober. I ask him if he could clean up the mess he and his friends had made last night and he said yes. When I got home he was obviously buzzed and he hadnt lifted a finger at the mess. He didnt even move one glass off the table. So I came in a fixed dinner and then I wrote our pastor a long email, telling him I need his help and guidence. I told him that I wasnt writing to have him talk to my "A" about it, but to help ME. And that I need the help, I need help dealing with this, and help to live happier. I feel constantly angry and lost and lonely. I hope this helps, my pastor was kinda my last resort. I kept telling myself that if it got really bad, I'd ask for help from our pastor. And now I have, I am kinda relieved and kinda nervous all at the same time. There is no going back now, I cant unsend the email (not that I want to). Well I'll tell you all how things are going, when he writes me back, or when I see him at church tomorrow.
It is good that you are feeling like you followed through with what you thought was the right thing to do. Right, wrong or indifferent it is important to be true to yourself.
Churches often have support groups that are very helpful and a great support.
Good for you Kimmy! That's step # 1 in looking after YOU. There is nothing you can do to help your A, but coming here and talking to your pastor will help you in your recovery. Wishing you all the best, TLC
How cool that you were able to stick to your own boundary and seek help for yourself! Yay! Progress, not perfection. I really admire and appreciate the fact that you were clear with your pastor about wanting help for YOU. This says to me that you have truly accepted that alcoholism is a disease and that only your A can stop drinking when he becomes willing.
Thank you for sharing your courageon act here and let us know how it turns out.
Love and hugs, Jessi
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If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.
KIMMIE>>>>>>>I told him that I wasnt writing to have him talk to my "A" about it, but to help ME. And that I need the help, I need help dealing with this, and help to live happier. I feel constantly angry and lost and lonely. I hope this helps, my pastor was kinda my last resort. I kept telling myself that if it got really bad, I'd ask for help from our pastor. And now I have, I am kinda relieved and kinda nervous all at the same time. There is no going back now, I cant unsend the email (not that I want to). Well I'll tell you all how things are going, when he writes me back, or when I see him at church tomorrow.
rosie>>>>>>>>>>> GOOD GIRL!!!!!! its called "taking care of me"......what a GR8 step in recovery seeing that YOU needed help for YOU.....it makes my heart sad to see a young/ pregnant lady have to deal with this, but i sense a strength in you that a LOT of young women in your situation would NOT have.....let us know how it goes w/pastor.......peace and hugs/ rosie .
