The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ya know, I too do so good and then one thing sets me off. My A worked 4 10's this week to have today off. Why did I even have an expectation that my hot tub would get filled and running, or that corner in the bedroom (his) would get cleaned out, or the ceiling fan that has been sitting in the box since June get up in my son's room? Where is he? At the bar? I truely do not think I can continue with this kind of life. Yeah, I can do all those things myself, but do I really have to? I will go to my Mom's and then my girlfriend's after work, what is there to go home to right away, anyway.....an empty house?
Mary, take care of you and your son. I find it so frustrating when you want to believe the A or think that things are "normal" only to find that it is the same ol' thing over and over. My A will say one thing, and then also continue w his drinking patterns.
Dealing with the imperfections of my life because of the A's choices has been a rough road. How could this happen to me. To maintain my sanity, I try to put it in perspective relating to others who have a much difficult road to travel. Life isn't perfect. I have detached from this mess and do what I have to do. I get angry and disappointed because I seem to be handling all the responsibilities that used to be shared by two.
Thanks to this site and for everyone sharing their experiences, I find peace and comfort knowing that I am not alone in handling what life has dealt. My A is verbally abusive on occasion when he is drinking, but I don't take him seriously because I know it is the alcohol "talking." I try to rise higher than his level which is a real challenge and get my life back to normal.
Take care of you. You know what you can accept. Keep in touch with that little voice inside of you. Love and blessings to you and your son, Annie
I too fled my house for years becuase it was so empty there, or he was passed out anyway. I did everything around the house and took care of all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, bill paying, etc. When he hit bottom (his first one), I woke up and smelled the coffee. I went out and got a job, totally out of my realm of experience. I haven't stopped since, growing and living. There are still hard times when he slips and I have to kick my program into high gear. But I try to do what I want now and don't buy into his craziness. He doesn't work a program, never has. He won't go to counseling and when nothing changes, nothing changes. I keep reminding myself that.
My "A" has had almost all week off because of the weather, and he has done nothing but use all week. I go get the kids from daycare, and when I get home sometimes dinner is done, and I know I should be thankful for that, he has had almost 9 hours to pick up, and nothing. I am still doing dishes and laundry and everything. It is hard, this disease is so selfish.
Take care of you, go do soemthing fun!
Much Love,
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
