The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The last few years have been to say the least, WILD. My sister who was the epitome of "mom" became addicted to painkillers and alcohol as a result of a surgery. To make a long story short she lost her children (I have custody of one, the other went to live with her father, The baby, my sister still has), lost her job, crashed her car, her health, shacks up with a frikking loser (who is the father of the baby, who "claims" he is in recovery). She went through 2 rehabs and for the last six months seem to be doing "OK".
Here is my problem.......I had a bottle of vicodin in my medicine cabinet that I got on the 11th of July, for a migrane headache. I never take the stuff but when I went in for a sinus infection to the doctor he prescribed it for the headache. I took 1 pill. So out of a bottle of 30 there were 29 left. Something last night made me check the bottle. I counted the pills and there were only 13 left in the bottle. She has been at my house in the last few weeks when I was not there. I only have one thing to think, she's back on the stuff. She is on probation for writing false perscriptions from last year and is 'supposedly' really involved in NA. WHAT DO I DO??? Confront her? Watch the bottle for more missing pills, then confront her? I did loan her $80 last week for what she said she needed to pay for the baby's daycare. This was the cycle of her previous drug addiction. Am I in denial or what? I can't talk to my parents about this because they have been through enough and paid over $30,000 for her rehabs. I really need some help here!
All three people have suggested to get rid of the pills, and this seems logical to me.
The one and only thing you can do for her is to detach and to not enable her. She has to hit her bottome, whatever that is, before she will be ready.
My "A" is my husband. He is an alcoholic/addict. Out of respect to him I do not keep alcohol or narcotics in my home. I myslef hate that feeling so I normally don't even fill the perscritption. I know many people who are married to those in recovery who can keep alcohol or a perscription in the home, so can I,if he chooses to use/drink his choice. I for one can live without it, so doing without is no big deal.
Does your sis have a key to your place? Has anything else come up missing?
Keep coming back, attend meetings, and take care of you!
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Dear Red, I just posted my first one less than an hour ago. I'm no expert. But all I can tell you is this. Sometimes, the people you love the most are the people you can't help. May be you just have to let her fall. Not let her die, but fall. My sister's husband became addicted to painkillers for his back. He was then arrested and placed on probation for another drug offense. I suspect that he is still using but switched his addiction after burning the garage down (luckily not attached to the house). He's the "functioning" addict. My sister is in denial, and has never gone to any kind of class or meeting. She says she doesn't have the time. I had to let "Tom" fall in order for him to start putting his life back together. It's been a long year. I can't help my sister or my brother in law. "Tom" can't get through to him either. We've made a decision that was really hard. We had to step away from them. There is nothing we can do for them, except be there when they need us, but not enable them. I don't know if it'll work, but all we can do is try. If there is one thing that this year has taught me, is to keep trying and don't give up hope. You have to take care of you and your family first. The same way I have to take care of mine. I'll be no good to either "Tom" or my sister if I don't take care of me. That's why he left for the half way house. It was for both us. If your sister falls and is arrested as hard as that is to watch, may be that's what she needs to get sober. Some people have to hit bottom more than once to get the idea that they need help. I know she wants its. But she may not be ready yet. An addict told me that once at an AA meeting. As for the pills, I have an MD in the family. When your done with a perscription, thow it out. It's not just about protecting the addict in the family, how about the kids, or an elderly parent if that applies. It's just common sense. Good luck to you.
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I did flush the pills down the toilet when I figured it out that some were missing. I guess it's totally my fault for being in such denial and thinking that she wouldn't snoop through my stuff. My neice and I put a note in the bottle that say's "If you are reading this, you need help". I mean I have no rock solid proof that she's the one who took them, but it all adds up. I have had a whole year of her drama and I am SO over it.
