Rosie,

This is a difficult question to answer as progress is different for different people.  But I can tell you what it was for me...

My issues are different than yours, but just as painful at times.  My first husband abused me horribly, it is still difficult for me to talk about, as I try not to think about it.  It gave me PSTD which I probably will have to deal with for the rest of my life.

For me progress was that I was no longer haunted with thoughts and feelings and memories every second of the day.  For me progress was being able to  "forget" and feel "normal" even if just for a moment.

I remember going to work and struggling SO hard with the flashbacks, thoughts, pain, etc. and still trying to focus on my work.  I remember so clearly the first time I realized that I had managed to get through a WHOLE MORNING at work without thinking once about what I had been through and the pain and no flashback.  I felt "NORMAL" for the first time in a LOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG time.  I was so happy I had to celebrate, I took myself out to dinner to the nicest place I could think of, and did not hardly have any money so I only ordered an appetizer, but still it was a celebration.  I was not only celebrating that day at work, but the real hope that I could really get better someday and feel more normal.

It was quite a few more days before I had another morning or afternoon to celebrate, but soon they happened more and more.  The time I realized that I had gone a WHOLE DAY at work, morning and afternoon, I once again celebrated.

I began thinking about ways to keep super busy so that I would have more times that I could "forget" and not have flashbacks, thoughts, etc.

I read a lot of books about it too.

Another thing that helped was my art.  I never thought of myself as an artist when younger, but I discovered that I am.  People like the things I make and ask me to make things for them, which I do.  I feel blessed to have something that I enjoy so much that keeps me so busy I can "lose myself" in it and forget my pain.

I think that is the key, trying to find things you enjoy so much you lose yourself in them.

Easier said than done when you have been in so much pain for so long.

I started small, childish pursuits, riding my bike in lovely weather, going to the park or the beach (really Lake Erie, it looks like an ocean beach, but just does not smell like one, LOL), reading, playing video games.

Then I started looking outside myself, I took a class in cake decorating, which was something I ALWAYS wanted to do...as a kid...now I was giving my inner kid a chance to do it.

I LOVED it, and did so well the instructor offered me a job teaching at a nearby store, which I took.  There I was exposed to many more arts and crafts that I tried and really enjoyed.

Arts and crafts have really been a lifesaver for me.

Now I teach many different classes and meet many many women who take the classes for the same reason I did.  I try hard to make them feel welcome and make the class "fun"  most of all.  I also developed "socials" which are classes that are a continuence of what we are doing, akin to the old fashioned "quilting bees" of the past where women got together to share their love of quilting.  I have developed "socials" in sewing, jewelry making, and scrapbooking.  This gives the women AND me a continuint outlet for fun association and creativity.  I look forward to them and many of the women say they look forward to it all month.  Over time as we get to know each other, many of the women open up to how they had so much unhappiness in their lives that they were searching for a way to forget their pain, many say they see our craft socials as "therapy" or a support group!

I strongly encourage you to try to incorporate some harmless "fun" into your life in whatever way you can. 

The more activities I found that I could lose myself in, the better I felt in general.  I SLOWLY got better.  I found that this is really a "time" thing, the old wisdom that time heals all wounds is really true.  No matter how many books I read, it still took time...

But I hurried the healing process as much as I could.  I also found that humor helps a lot in healing.  I started renting as many old fashioned humorous movies I could find that could hopefully make me laugh. 

The current trend towards "dark humor" as in those spoofs on slasher films do more harm than good I think, I found very positive humorous films like movies from the forties and fifties.

You are doing well, working hard to face your issues and deal with them in positive ways...now it is time to try and learn to have some healthy fun...something that people in our situation many times forget how to do and have to  re-learn.

Many prayers and hopes that you find more happiness in your life.

Isabela