The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I feel so frustrated with myself. I posted here about leaving my husband a couple of weeks ago. I had not heard from him and needed to contact him about the utility bills that had not been paid that were in my name. It took alot for me to work up the nerve to call because I was so afraid that we were going to argue. I also felt that his silence meant that he didn't love me anymore. Well I got the nerve up and called and we did argue some because of course he was putting all the blame on me and I didn't think that he was being fair. Well anyways, he told me that he was still very much "in love with me" which made me feel better. Here is the thing though. As long as I feel that I have the final say as to whether our marriage ends or not gives me a boost of confidence. How sick is that? I was working on the 4th step and now I feel that I need to do some more work on the 1st step because I'm still having control issues. I know that it takes time to change. I know that I am probably being hard on myself but I feel that I am going backwards instead of forward. If you guys have any input I would appreciate it. Thanks
Any insight you gain into yourself is a step forward, look at it that way. You didn't get here overnight, you can't expect to get better overnight either.
Julielynn, we all have set backs. It's good that you are aware of yours. We are all human and dont give yourself such a hard time about it, just stay strong and start over if you have to. This is a livelong battle for most of us and there is plenty of time to mess up and recover. Good luck, hang in there.
julie half the battle is KNOWING you have an issue and the other half is the WILLINGNESS to do the steps to at least "manage" it......i get hard on me too, and i say we got into recovery and that took courage and caring....give yourself a BIIIG hug for this honest and open share....peace rosie
I posted here about leaving my husband a couple of weeks ago. I had not heard from him and needed to contact him about the utility bills that had not been paid that were in my name. It took alot for me to work up the nerve to call because I was so afraid that we were going to argue. I also felt that his silence meant that he didn't love me anymore. Well I got the nerve up and called and we did argue some because of course he was putting all the blame on me and I didn't think that he was being fair. Well anyways, he told me that he was still very much "in love with me" which made me feel better. Here is the thing though. As long as I feel that I have the final say as to whether our marriage ends or not gives me a boost of confidence. How sick is that?
I was working on the 4th step and now I feel that I need to do some more work on the 1st step because I'm still having control issues. I know that it takes time to change. I know that I am probably being hard on myself but I feel that I am going backwards instead of forward. If you guys have any input I would appreciate it. Thanks