The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is a pretty raw post but great reminders for us all:-
Hello I am your Disease.....
Just a little reminder so you won't forget.
I Am Your Disease
I Hate meetings...I Hate higher powers...I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.
Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. I Am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's Me. I have killed millions and I am pleased.
I love to catch you with the element of suprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, haven't I? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call on me? I was there, I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I Love to make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. When you can't feel anything at all.
This is true gratification. And all that I ask from you is long term suffering. I've been there for you always.
When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life. People don't take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, even diabetes, they take seriously. Fools.
Without my help these things would not be possible. I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.
More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12 step program. Your program, Your meeting, Your higher power. All of these things weaken me, and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don't see me but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live I may only exist. But I am here...
And until we meet again, If we meet again, I wish you death and suffering.
Sorry to nitpick, I like the rest of it, but as a recovering alcoholic I have a real problem with this part:
... I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace....
I think this may be a major misconception by those who do not understand the disease. I have never met an admitted alcoholic who has chosen to have the disease. I like to compare it to diabetes. Nobody wants to have it, it doesn't go away, but we can choose to treat it so it becomes managable. This may seem like a minor point, but I think this is a very, very dangerous point of view to have concerning alcoholism. This type of misconception can very easily ruin relationships.
I completely agree with Uncle Lou. NO ONE chooses to have alcoholism anymore than they choose to be gay.
People can have alcoholic and gay behaviors but it does not mean they are a true alcoholic or truly gay.
Genetics are what determine if you are gay or an alcoholic.
I guess I would like to say yes the disease is as horrible as this portrays. But this disease is holding someone,a loved one, hostage inside.
For me I want to focus on positive. I couldn't even read the whole thing. I know all by myself how horrible cancer,diabetes, ms, alcoholism are. Since I have no control over it, I choose not to read this kind of stuff.
Sometimes we forget many if our members here are alcoholics in or out of recovery. Detachment is for me how I really came to realize how much I love my A no matter what condition he is in.
I detach from the whole thing that was written here. I don't need to know any of it. I need to follow my path to recovery, take my own inventory.
I strongly AGREE with Uncle Lou. I too am a recovering Alcoholic and take offense to this.
I drank for almost 35 years which resulted in much hurt and harm to ME as well as others. Many times I attempted suicide because I was in this dreaded disease. God obviously had other plans for me - Thank you GOD.
There are many misconceptions about addiction and this is ONE OF THE BIGGIST. Please read and learn more about addiction - IT IS NOT A CHOICE - hence the description -DISEASE. No on chooses to get a disease !!!
Yours in Recovery from the Disease of Alcoholism & Alanon for my active A hubby
For those of you who chose to respond negatively to this post I make my apologies if it offended you. But two things to note there was a warning that the post was raw, and two, these are not my words it was copied from another site. I felt the over all composition showed just how devious and cunning the disease is.
As for knowing about the "disease" I live with it everyday. I have seen the wreckage it can do to a family. But ultimately the choice to use belongs to the abuser. The choice to pick up belongs to the alcoholic/addict just as the choice for recovery is his/hers. You can go into the whole scenario about the physical allergy and the mental obsession and quote word for word what Bill W. has said but utimately who put that drink or drug in your hand? Who made the choice? Just as a diabetic has the choice to monitor their blood sugar levels and choose what to do in response to that figure. They can choose to maintain a stabile blood glucose or let the disease play havoc with their system. Life is filled with many choices that we have to make and our choices will be reflected in the lives we lead. Just my opinion, on an Al-Anon website. Hope we can agree to disagree.
