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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Alcoholism ruined our marriage
Post Info TOPIC: Alcoholism ruined our marriage
megan


~*Service Worker*~

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Alcoholism ruined our marriage
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Alcoholism ruined our marriage


A startling revelation made to me by my alcoholic husband.


I met him for dinner and he uttered these words.


He said that alcoholism is a disease and he is Irish and that alcoholism has been in his family for generations, so he can't help it.


He must be reading the books that I bought him.....


He mentioned that I had once said that I wouyld go with him to the first few AA meetings and sit with him.


I said the offer still holds, just let me know when and where.


He has not yet been served the divorce papers.


the court had them 2 weeks ago.


The lawyer says he has been busy in court and that he will now get the papers to the sheriff.


This will be quite a shock to my husband of 14 years.


I have told him that the divorce papers are coming but on some level he is in denial.


And the charges of emotional cruelty and habitual drunkeness are quite ugly


He wants me to sign the lease on HIS apartment. It is up for renewal.


I left in May.


It seems they want someone with a JOB living in the apartment and my husband does not qualify.


My husband even had a check made out to me for $2000 should I sign the lease.


I told him the only way I will sign the lease is if he gives me $14,000 which will cover the years rent.


He tried to argue and manipulate me but I held my boundary.


He seems vastly frustrated that I am no longer so easily manipulated and the night did not end well.


That is him and us.


ME.


I write this from a jet high in the sky.


Enroute from NJ to TX to spend the weekend with my sister.


She lives in Houston


We will tube on the Guadalupe and go to the San Antonio Riverwalk and Seaworld and laugh and cry and share our PAIN.


She is in the middle of a divorce from her husband of 4 years - a rampant sex addict ruining there credit with massage girls.


How odd that God would put us in such dire similar circumstances.


How strong we have become


Megan


****Hi from Houston on my aircard with a small doggie on my lap

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Megan If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
tullemars


Veteran Member

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Keep getting stronger.


You deserve to be happy.


We all deserve to love and be loved.


It is our decision to love and be loved.


Some tell me I am selfish now. I look after me know. That is what we are supposed to do.


I come first. (almost even with my kids) I need to be ahead by an inch.


If I am down it brings them down. So it isn't worth being down.


I ran a different direction but keep being strong.


Megan you deserve all the joy the world has to offer.


Take care


 


 



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Christy


~*Service Worker*~

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Megan,
I hope you have a wonderful time with your sister. It must be kind of odd to be up in the sky and ponder all the things that go on below.
Yea, leave the A and his lease behind..go jump in the river with your sister.
Act like a kid and remember joy!!
Have a blast!
Christy

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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Tammy


Senior Member

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Megan, you are so strong and truely an inspiration. Congratulations to you on many levels. First for having the courage to put yourself first. Leaving the situation that we all seem to live in day to day. I call it the alcoholism rollercoaster. Second for being such an inspiration to all of us new to the program . Lastly, for looking ahead when it is so much easier to look behind. Jumping into the unknown takes courage, courage I whish i had.

Have a GREAT time,

Tammy



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Tammy
isabela40


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Megan,


Thanks so much for sharing your strength with all of us!!!


I truly admire how you so gracefully handle all that comes your way in life.  You are always kind, loving, compassionate, and generous, but in a healthy way, that takes care of YOU first.  I love how you said you would go to AA meetings with him if he really wanted to go, but held your ground about taking responsiblity for his financial transactions, but still leaving him a way to get your help if he really needed it, but in way that took care of you by saying he would have to write you a check for the year's rent you were signing the lease for.


HOW INSPIRING!


Thank you so much for sharing your balanced program!


I really hope I can be were you are today one day, balanced between compassion for our A's and healthy self centerdness.


Thanks again for turning around to lend a hand up to those who are behind you...reaching out for what you have accomplished.


Have fun with your sister, cry, share, vent, but still remember to have FUN!


You and your sister will be in my prayers...


Much Love,


Isabela


 



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