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Hi, I'm pretty new here (2nd post) and I'm wondering what books you guys recommended for me to read? I'm new to this al-anon stuff and I'm looking for the best way to deal with my A, how to cope, how to get rid of my anger, detachment, etc... I saw a couple listed on the front page, Courage to Change and then One Day at a Time, what books have you read and what ones helped you the most?
Paths to Recovery is another good one. It expalins the steps, traditions and concepts. It also has questions in the back of each chapter you can ask yourself.
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I don't know about your family, but mine was and is truly dysfunctional. The book that I am re-reading is The Family by Bradshaw and it helps me to see where things went wrong when I was growing up, so that I can help myself change these dyfunctions within me and heal the pain and have a better life for myself and my children. It's pretty interesting and helpful. Co-dependent No More is great also (I've read it so many times) and I just ordered the Getting them sober series, they look great. If you are an Adult Child of an Alcoholic that book by the same name might help you understand yourself a little better. All the other ones mentioned are good, too. There are so many!!! Good luck in your journey!
Now am I suppose to read AA the big book also or is that just for my husband to read?
Julie - My family (my husband and son) is somewhat dysfunctional I would say, my son and husband do not get along at all (his step-son) and that causes a lot of problems ontop of the drinking. My family life growing up wasn't that dysfunctional I don't think, yes I think my dad was an alcoholic but I still think I led a pretty normal life (maybe)
If you grew op in an alcoholic family, you may find "From Survival to Recovery" helpful. It is official alanon literature. (Which doesn't really mean much here, but is the only literature allowed at meetings. There are lots of useful books that help us a lot which are not conference approved, and which may have a slightly different focus. If you are worried about the strict alanon 'party line', it will have a circle inside a triangle on it somewhere, and will say ''conference approved literature") I also really liked the 'Getting them Sober" books - not CAL, but very useful and full of tips. "In all our Affairs" is a great alanon book. Most Hazelden publications are good to read.
You can certainly read the big book if you like, as it gives insight into this disease. It's best to learn as much as you can, it puts it all in perspective. I find AA literature very interesting and helpful, and going to the odd open AA meeting is also a real eye opener.
It was suggested to me so I will pass it along. "The delima of the alcoholic Marrage". I guess that would only apply if your A is your spouse. Also, as I saw on an earlier post, "Codependent no more" is informative reading. I would say good reading, but I saw myself in that book and was shocked and amazed that someone had taken my inventory. lol
Good luck in your endevor to find happiness and peace.
The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage is a good book, but its language is a little dated - it refers to the husband being the breadwinner and so on. The alanon mesage is very good, though, if you can ignore the stuff that doesn't apply to you.
Even being a recovering A myself, there is SO MUCH I need to read & learn about A's. For me, the same as debilyn, I read the Big Book & go to Open AA meetings, not only for myself but to keep remining me who horrid this invisable disease is, how it affected other A's family members, how they where, their hopes & progress & how it is for them now and most important, how it can be controlled. I read One Day at a Time, The Courage to Change, Al Anon 12 Steps & Traditions - all very inspirational & comforting to me. The 12 steps is really helping me work, everso slowly through them. Everyone has their own pace.
Currently, I am reading Adult Children of Alcoholics - How Your Parents Drinking Affected You...
AWESOME & SCARY. But is it ever helping me understand where I came from, how it affected me and how I can get bett, find peace & serenity. It also helps me if I remember my hubby is also ACOA the same as me. It is a real eye opener. I sometimes feel like the author is writing my thoughts. It is amazing and I would recommend it for everyone.
You are in the right place, keep coming back & posting. Sharing & reading here has taught me ALOT......
