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Last night about 2:30 am I awakened with a panic attack. I guess I'm not letting go and letting God enough. I was unable to sleep til 5 am, and today's a 14 hour day's work for me. That hasn't happened since March.
I'm just trying so hard to hold it all together, and have enough work for 3 people right now. Of course the payoff doesn't show that.
All I need is some prayer from you guys, and a little reminder that I can't do it all alone, and I'm not alone.
Hi, your not alone Genie we are all rooting for you. Its horrible when you wake up like that I do so often, and then having to work makes u tired for days. Will certainly pray for you honey. Chin up.
Genie, I am so sorry that you blame yourself for your panic attack with the reasoning, "I guess I'm not letting go and letting God enough." The stress of being overworked added to the stress of dealing with an A is an awful burden. It is okay to let yourself go. Having a good cry can be as cathartic as any treatment known, and can lift you up to go on with head held high. Of course you are in my prayers. And no, you are not alone.
With prayers and positive thoughts, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
first you are trusting God and it is not about enough. you are human you are under alot of stress and working alot of hours .I prayed for you today and tyenol pm helps me .
I know how that feels and it is terrifying to me. I am sorry that you are going through this and you are certainly not alone. I read another board and there are hundreds of posts about this issue and it is amazing to me that this is so common. I never realized the vast amounts of people that are affected by alcoholism and drug addiction.
On another note, when I can't sleep I drink Sleepytime Tea with camomile in it. It works for me, calms me down. Hope this helps and I'm rooting for you. Take it easy...
I so understand, one of the "tricks" I have recently learned, besides Sleepy Time tea, is this. This morning as I sat on my deck, this is how I start my day, having my coffee, my mind decided to get busy playing the "what if" game with me. So I decided to interupt that thought with..."count my blessings" as I went through my blessings, I started thinking of all the support I have, here on the board, my mother, my friends, and I mentally started saying the names of people in my life that support me. Mind you it was before 7am. My phone rang, I ran inside and it was my girlfriend that I had just said her name. After I talked to her, I finished my morning stuff and realized how great it was to be able to interupt those negative thoughts and take care of me, to think about how lucky I am. My life is far from perfect, but for today, that's okay, because I am right where I am supposed to be....
I am so sorry to hear of your difficult long day...
Like many of us here, I suffer from panic attacks...as hax said, it is often the result of extreme stress.
Please don't blame yourself, if it helps you to know, panic attacks often have a genetic componant. Genetically, many people have a pre-disposition or tendency to have them so when they are under extreme stress it happens more frequently and are stronger.
My Mother's family has the tendency towards panic attacks, and my sister, daughter and I also suffer from it. My sister has a pretty cushy life, a great supportive husband, a great and fulfilling job (she is an AIDS researcher searching for a cure) and only one child, yet she suffers more severaly than any of us. So, don't blame yourself, some people are just more prone to them.
I still get them in the middle of the night and I too HATE that.
I had a doctor who really believed in natural cures and he was able to treat me for mine with no medication.
I will pass on some things that have helped me:
1) Abstain from any and all forms of caffeine, no coffee, tea, chocolate, or pop with caffeine (only herbal teas are allowed as they are naturally caffeine free). Even decaf coffee and tea are LOADED with caffiene, they can never get all of the caffeine out.
Caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant, the same system that is affected by the surge of adrelnalin associated with a panic attack. If your system is already "revved up" by caffeine, then when the panic hormones hit you, your nervous system goes into extreme overdrive.
2) Do not eat within three hours of bedtime. This once again helps your central nervous system to truly relax as it does not have to deal with body systems such as digestion. It helps to accomplish true relaxation at bedtime, which again helps your body not to react so strongly to a panic attack.
3) Exercise of any form helps to calm the central nervous system, Megan gave a GREAT suggestion to go to sleep exhausted (easier to relax that way). Something relaxing like bike riding or walking, not too stimulating, we are not talking about running marathons here.
Just these few suggestions helped me a whole lot, espeically the no caffeine thing, which made the biggest difference.
I rarely have panic attacks anymore, and most are at night now just when I am very stressful. I don't have to take medication for it, which is good.
Dear Isabella...Thank you! When I was on the Adkins Diet, and had no caffeine, I felt so much better...my hot flashes were less too. I abstained from caffeine for 4 months and can do so again. I hadn't had any attacks since March (of this year), when I was moving my shop, so I'm sure the added work load was a factor. Especially, since while I worked yesterday for over 14 hours, my A got off at 1:30, and played 18 holes of golf. I was real nice to him though, as letting my emotions out is pointless.
I'll try the no eating late too...I get lazy about things I already know to do.
Again thanks, for the post, and for keeping me close in your thoughts.
We'll make it .... times won't always be this hard.
Dori...used to use the Tylenol pm...I have some herb called valerian I have also used, and I'm a big tea drinker... thank you, Dear Dori
Hi Mary...I've used that at night before I go to sleep, only using the alphabet to name a blessing. I've gotta lose the "stinking thinking". Some times, I can use "yoga breath" to lull myself to sleep too.
Julie...thank you for the kind thoughts...I'm sipping a cup of mint tea as I type. I feel so happy that so many of you posted to me...
Haximon...I'm afraid you hit the nail right on the head. No matter what I do, it will be a temporary solution until something changes...let's see, I have no control over him and his changes, so I guess ME has to set some boundaries, and get that taken care of. I guess I just keep hoping that when I've had enough this big red STOP light will light up, and I'll know it's over. He thinks his only job on earth is to abstain from alcohol. That's just a sober A!!! Pray for me, that I have my eyes open when that light goes on!!!
Diva...my tears flowed when I read ALL the responding posts. When I posted here, I felt so alone. This dance with insanity has been going on for 30 years. I am alienated from any person here with whom to talk. One by one, through the years, my A found fault with all my huge family, and his, and our friends. I still have a few contacts, but it's not the type to whom I can pour my soul. Thank you for being there.
Megan...ah, you are on my mind so frequently...I remember the good and bad days when I had once left my A. Usually at night I am so tired, I fall asleep before I go to bed. Maybe, I should quit that..Ha! If I could do a few yoga stretches, maybe that too would help. Thank you.
Melanie...thank you, thank you! Just really needed to know I'm in your thoughts. I have a heavy schedule now til Christmas, and guess I just need to start finding ways to shift a little of the load elsewhere.
Thanks to all, I'm growing, today is better (so far). I sent him to work!!!!! I'm at the shop til 3 and then go to help him...I think I'll find a few errands to do on the way.
