The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It is a rainy thunderous morning. I cannot go out to my favorite State park to ride my trail bike the eight hilly miles around the beautiful lake and do a mile and a half heart slow down walk. Thus, I am up at my favorite coffee house drinking coffee, looking out the storefront window at the rain, and playing on the computer. So cool. I go to the park on most days. With that and the demands of my physical disability it does not leave much time for doing things like being here with all of you great people.
Things with my son are going well—I think. I am now just recovering from feeling so drained from my son living with me. My son has found a good place to work in the restaurant industry. The restaurant industry seems not to treat their employees well. However, at the place my son is at now (Sixth job in the year or so he has been out here with me) treats their employees well. He even pays $56 per month for medical and dental insurance. My son still tests me some. A bit ago, my son wanted me to do up a letter stating he paid six months rent to show the IRS. He only had paid a month and a half of rent. I refused. His poor reasoning skills equated that he would eventually pay me back and that equaled actually paying the rent. Yesterday, we were supposed to go to the park together on his day off. I rearranged my morning so we could go. I called him twice in the morning just before I was to pick him up. Sure enough, he was still in bed. I just went on to the park myself. I did not go out to his place just to wait for him to get ready. I stopped a stranger, a woman, at the park and talk about guilt and stuff about the preceding. How cool to be reinforced by someone I do not know. The woman was so gracious. I got a burst of energy from that and made better time riding and walking.
I addressed this with my son later. I did not make a big deal of it. I just check to why he was not up and ready. Now, I know not to rearrange my mornings for him. Well, that is it. All have a good day or at least the best possible.
Isn't it amazing how God will bring a complete stranger into our life to help us with an awareness of a situation or emotion in ourself that we struggle with.... For every negative person I've had throughout my life, God has given me a positive person to offset their actions either indirectly or with complete understanding of what just occured. For instance... There was a time I struggled with making a decision for a year or two to cut my long hair to a very, very short hairstyle. Well, I had finally did it and I LOVED IT. I had went home that afternoon, having the day off work and went by my parents, who lived next door to me. My mom immediately says it was cute and my Dad, who is not mentally healthy, although would never get help or admit it (not a drinker either amazingly-- dry drunk I suppose) Anyway, he looked at me and acted startled, saying OH MY GOD, you look like that woman on television who killed her two children. This was refering to that woman who had her car go down a hill into a lake with her two children buckled into the back seat. I don't recall her name, but as you can see this is what I get from my Dad and of course my mom always justifies his behavior saying ya know he had a stroke a few years ago. I'm always like BS, he has been like this his entire life typically. However, THIS time as my recovery had grown, I simply looked at my mom and said, I have to go-- so then, my mom was upset with him and I just left.
I remember I was in tears as I walked back home NOT because I didn't love my new hair style, but because of the abuse I just experienced once again by my Dad... I walked back to my house and gave my thoughts with the tears to God, which in turn within 1/2 hour gave me complete peace again and I was okay. :))) Interestingly, my 2 nieces, who are dear to my heart had stopped by about then (Rarely do they do this because they're often so busy so it was unexpected) Plus, I typically work on this day and they wouldn't have known I was home..... Anyway, they came into my kitchen as they entered the back door and with soooo much enthusiasm and excitement, they said, Aunt Sandra (they call me Sandra) :) we LOVE your hair style, it's awesome.
Well, they were in their upper teens, almost near 20 so of course having a younger person who is in style have an opinion of an older persons hair style or clothes is a pretty good indication that you're hip and with the new styles... ya know what I mean? Not that I care to try to keep up with the new styles. However, this was one of MANY discoveries I've had like this... It immediately occured to me that God had turned good from bad, as He does each day in our lives-- I feel very blessed to be so focused on how He works in my life and in turn, with each recollection of these situations, my relationship with God grows stronger. :)))
Have a wonderful day..... Thank you for your post. :)
I always enjoy your posts and updates :) I agree that it does take a long time to recover from having alcoholic/drug addicted kids living with us. It is so nice to have them away and living on their own. I know my daughter is much happier with her own place and a job too. She is still doing well and does chair at AA meetings too. I have been much more able to detatch with love too.
I too have not been able to post or reply as much either. Our health does take a toll on us doesn't it? I only wish I could get a routine with some kind of exercise going myself. Maybe I can. You alway seem to put a bug in me where I want to do that :)
My parents are in the process of moving to ND from AZ which has caused stress for me,,both good and bad. My dad has congestive heart failure and mom has alzheimers. I just found out yesterday that they did sell their house and will be in ND at my house for mother's day. The house they bought is 2 hours north of here. I see alot of pros now in the move but it has been quite a shock for me too! It is hard to see your parents having failing health. They always worry about my health too. We will get to see each other more too. I have their only grandkids and I think they have been lonely. Especially since my dad cannot golf anymore or hardly even walk. Living with an alzheimer spouce is also very stressful. I will be able to travel to see them if my dad goes into the hospital and stay with my mom too. They are not sure they will be able to stay at their summer cabin in Canada yet. My dad is a very controlling person so this is the part that I need to use alanon skills in LOL. His stubborness seems to be worse now too with his failing health. Someone did mention to me tonight at the meeting that I should be greatful that I at least have parents and he is right. That put me back into living one day at a time.
I hope your life is treating you well and that your health is stabalized. Did you ever get your brother's cats or cat? Have you observed any interesting people at your coffee shop? lol
Take care and post more often. I love hearing anything you post about. Your friend in recovery, cdb :)
