This a tribute to my sister, for today I have no outlet but here to let go one more time.

                                                Salome

Salome as the date of your death is here again, 19 years ago .My daughter who was named after you will be 19 soon you were killed by a drunk driver just days before she was born .She has your beautiful smile and your red hair with a tint of blonde.She also has your spunk and your  sence of right and wrong.  Sometimes their are times when I call her name and it hard to fight the tears back. You were the only sister who thanked me for takeing all the beatings for and to testify againt our parents so you all could be adopted.You loved me as I was , you were the only one who looked for me as I looked for you.I remember when I got the call you said this is Salome I am looking for my big sister or my mom I am not sure.. you got me mixed up cause you remeber me the one who took care of you even though I was only about 9 years old.I have not had a faimily well family of orgin sence you died and was taken from me.I ever went to the grave I didnt go the furneral , i am sorry please forgive me .Sence your death mom has died of many storkes from all the achchol and addictions , your dad died also cause of achohlism..i got engulfed with acholics drug addicts and abusers but over 2 years ago i Landed in alanon my life boat came and i am doing things different..    Salome i miss you all of the years blameing myself for the destroying of our family even though i was 12well i have learned it was achcholism the disease that destroy us and killed you off before your time , and mom and dad.forgive me for not griiveing i try i want to cry , i want to grief of loseing you , but for this day this is the best i can do i miss you i love you..thank you for the short time you were in my life.you by your big bluew eyes looking up at me at 2 years old , gave me the courage to testify against my abusers parents, and even though death took you and my other sister and brother got adopted and have no use for me i am so  darn thankful i did what i  did because you looking up at me trusting me i protected you .thank you Salome , in alanon we have animity but you are dead and i wanted to  give you respect and say your name outloud , goodnight my little salome i love you ........... dori (big sis)