The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Here I am again - the ray of sunshine whose situation seems to get worse each day..! The saga continues with my husband since being out of treatment for one week.
He is still sleeping at his mothers. He told me he doesn't know what he wants, he feels as if he has no purpose in life. Says he feels like a "dead fish" He has fallen right back into his old ways I fear as I spoke with him on the phone this evening. I also could tell that tonight he had been DRINKING!!!!
But you know what...I really feel like I have learned something from Alanon..I'm not worrying about it. I will go back to living like 3 of us, me and the boys; and when and if he is ready to come and live back at home with us we'll welcome him back. I am just going to give him time and work on my own garden!
I really find this board; as well as the chat a huge help to me and acredit my new found strength to them. I have my weekly f2f tomorrow night and have postponed going out of town for Easter until Fri so I can attend.
So for now, I feel strong and I really can't ask for more than that if I am going to take it "One day at a time"
Wow, we were both posting at the same time. :) Your post gives me hope to hang in! By sharing how well you are doing today helps me to want to keep doing better too. I just love your plan with waiting a day to travel so you can go to f2f and then the goal of working in your garden. Sounds like YOU are finally focusing on YOU. If you read my post, you wills see I am having anxieties too over my alcoholic daughter. Back to the 3Cs. WE didn't cause it,,,we can't cure it,,,and we can't control it. Those 3Cs really have spoken to me in the beginning and they are now too. Only the alcoholic can get themselves better and stop drinking for them. Only we can stop the drama and the madness we have learned from this family disease and get better for us. As we get better the kids or rest of the family gains calm too. Keep on working on you and I will keep on working on me. Your Friend, cdb :)
I too feel it is soooo hard to watch someone floundering, for there is nothing you can do for him. I don't want to watch this sad show anymore, so I turn away to do something for myself, let people watch my happy show. I find that happiness & goodness is too like a spreading disease, only a good one though. Sometimes people want what good you have & will follow suit. Sometimes, they don't, but at least you will have done something good for you, & what possible harm can come from that?! Keep working at yourself, it's good, & it shows too!
It sounds to me like you really have it together. I agree in your choice, your A must be given the chance to find himself.
They can never get strong, and find who they are unless able to stand alone (with their minds) and figure things out.
That's not to say that AA meetings wouldn't help and help him sort it out.
I know there have been times in my own life if everyone just backs off and leaves me alone, I can think for myself and figure things out w/o the constant input of others clogging/smothering my thinking.
You're doing great!!!!
love,
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
