The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am beside myself. I am so full of anger right now. I got screwed over at work and did not receive my bonus. Everyone received their bonus, but me. I am also the only female. I'm starting to notice how oppressive the work environment is and I want to run away screaming. I am praying for HP to help me and guide me to a better place. I just want my freedom right now and not have to be anyone's dumping pail for all their work. The VP made a comment to someone in the office today that he needs an assistant. This was after listening to him rant and rave all day. I felt like he was hoping I would offer my help. I am not helping anyone ever again like I have in the past. I will not take on the world to make your life better while my life piles with your stuff. It is so difficult working like this. I've also noticed a pattern at work, where I am given projects to do but still have to depend on the boss's approval. Projects wind up being as much as a month late because of the process. It is driving me insane. I know I have no control over it. However, I am feeling very beaten down. I hope HP hears my cries for help and opens the door for me. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It must be in the water. I have been feeling the same way at work. I took it out on hubby last night, and I tried so hard not too. Today I got up and was bound and determined to make it work. I had to take a deep breath and say the serenity prayer more than a couple of times, but it worked. Hang in there, perhaps this is a sign to look for something else. Who knows? Love and blessings to you.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Kissers, what happened that you alone didn't get a bonus??? Is it performance based (well obviously!)
I'm sure the reason is not really important . . . but what the heck WAS it?? It seems so unfair.
I have a post up myself about getting screwed. I know these things happen, and life isn't fair, and all that happy crappy. But when you're in the middle of it, or just realizing it, ya gotta make a decision about how you're going to react. Ya don't want it happening again, at least from the same direction. It's about all you can do.
It sounds like YOU know you work exceptionally well, and you aren't chopped liver, and all your extras have been ignored or devalued. Well . . . time to move along where you are better appreciated. I understand and would do the same.
It goes to prove you can't depend upon others to tell you who you are, what you are, what you want. Hold that vision of yourself and good luck finding a better place for you!
Okay this reminds me of how I needed to learn how to "throw a tantrum" when things were not going my way instead of taking my frustration, anger and hurt out "shotgun" style..you know several wide blasts into the crowd. It helped me and you would be surprised at where I have thrown them. The only consequence I was looking for was a steam valve so that I could bring myself to a place where I could do better recovery. When the steam was let off I could confront what was ticking me off levely with rational and composure and respect and all that other good stuff that goes with cooperation with people around me. When I use to try to cap my anger sometimes people got hurt and I got hurt all the time.
When you get it down a couple of notches maybe you will find the courage to go find out why you didn't get the bonus. If you haven't gotten a negative review and your work has been acceptable maybe someone just forgot to write the check or maybe there is some question that needs to be answered along with yours. There are lots of maybes and you gotta find out the answers so that you can decide your next move other than just seething.
I did love the title to your post. I brought back memories of when I was soooo powerful with my anger before I started trading it for more acceptance. Another "A" word.
Hi, I read your post and I know this must be so hard. My husband was going through this same type of situation, he was being discriminated against a work due to a difference in opinion. When he would get home he would be so mad everyday. He had someone telling him that this is temporary and that God has a plan. We would both cry because it was so frustrating. Such unfair treatment. But we also had to take a step back after both our anger bursts. No one was happy there, no one trusted anyone else. It was not just him. There were times when he was being selectively mistreated but upon further inspection it just wasn't a healthy environment all the way around. So he looked for something else. Finally, it took two years, he found another position and it is so much better, closer to home and in his perfect element. He needed that time to learn what he needed to do this job correctly.
It is easy to get into a victim stance. I have done it so many times. I hate being mistreated but if I really step back it is because the whole environment is unhealthy, not just towards me. Alot of times, I have to get really uncomfortable and really fuming mad before I will get out of my "uncomfortable zone" to make a change. To take a risk to find a better way. I am not a victim today. I have victim flashbacks and victim moments but I am far from a victim.
We all have the right to feel appreciated and valued at our job. If we aren't we should take measures to correct it or find another job. We can't just walk out but sometimes just the motions towards another place can get things in motion where we are.
I know it is a scary time and I understand how upsetting it is. I have a feeling just reading what you wrote that if you will take a deep breath, pray and share more that you are going to find the answers. You have an awesome strength within you.
Just a thought and it is entirely up to you how you handle it. When the anger has been suppressed a little approach your boss in an assertive manner and say that it has come to your attention that everyone seems to have received their bonus but you. You could then say is this an oversight or is there a genuine reason for me not getting it? You have nothing to lose as far as I can see. Luv Leo xx
