The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is sort been a reflective day for me. I turned 58. I always have a nice day on my birthday. Friends have called. Some of my family has called. I made a cake and my girlfriends came by and we laughed. Two out of three sons called. It is like some of the pieces of the recovery puzzle have come together for me. Slowly and painfully. At work I have tried to use the criteria of whose business is it: mine, theirs, or HP's? I am staying out of so much that I use to jump into because it just isn't my business. When I decide that it is my business I have embraced the individuals with warm personal regard instead of harboring resentment and bringing it home. It has gone so much better. I think that my arrogance is leaving and I am realizing that we are all in this together. I am no better than the next and I am married to an alcoholic and everything that goes with it. He didn't call. And I have worked at accepting it either way. It is his life and his choice.
Thank you for your support and insight in recovery.
Thank you for this post and your other posts. You always have something I can benefit from like this one: an easy way to stay on my side of the street by looking at is it mine, their's or HP's - great way to do it.
I celebrate with you on your special day and wish a wonderful new year. Happy, happy birthday to you!
three cheers for Nancy
hugs, ddub
__________________
"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
Nancy thank you for your post. I had a birthday recently that I originally thought was horrible because my AH did not give me a present, send a card, anything. I got all worked up about it. I went on and on about it for at least two weeks- crying, etc. you know the routine- poor me. During this my friends and sister and mom sent me nice things, left messages, sent cards, called, etc. I had completely ignored all that goodness- all that love. Finally I saw it! I was completely focusing on the lousy behavior of the A, not on all the wonderful, respectful loving treatment that was being showered on me from all sorts of beautiful people who love me. A few days after my birthday (I was still boo-hooing) a woman came into one of the al anon meetings I attend with a big box of cupcakes and lemonade. She said: my family cannot help me celebrate but certainly all you good people can and we had a nice birthday party. What a great role model! THAT is what I am going to do in the future. SO, my birthday was great- it was the best one I have ever had in fact. Because I have a program now and lots of positive option. I am learning not to set my self up with expectations of the A's in my life.
three cheers for Nancy 
