My rant on Thursday about my DIL and keeping the grandbaby was good for my soul; I had to do it! The responses I received were pretty wise and y'all tried to see all sides to this thing. Sooo it is now Sunday afternoon. My son came Friday after work and has stayed all weekend being a good father to his child. No drinking involved and that is how it always is when he is in his family's presence. He and his child were able to participate in a couple Halloween events, carve a pumpkin, share everything and that was a good thing. I am, however, exhausted. Baby's mom will pick him up around 11 or so tonight. 
When she called today, I offered to take him home and put him to bed and stay there until she arrives; she refused (again, she obviously doesn't want me in her house) saying I would "probably be more comfortable in my own home".  Of course, I wouldn't have offered if that had been the case. I was thinking of the child and waking him in the middle of his night. I had also offered to keep him all night and she refused saying she would want to see him. OK....I concede. She is the decision maker in this situation on ALL things because I just cannot say no. If I do, I suffer the wrath of the devel. She yells and screams at us if we ever question a thing she says or wants. So we just don't anymore. I cannot change that. But thanks to all of you for listening to me. Lord knows, if you cannot express your frustartions to someone they will kill you.  In my mind I want to just say no if I am asked to keep the child again for her social purposes. In my heart, I doubt I will be able to do it. She wouldn't think twice about denying us access. We are in no position to fight anything and I already know grandparent rights in my state: there are none. Visits are always up to the custodial parent and that decision is not to be undermined. So we shall trudge on through this mess and do the best we can. I just hope my mind and body will prevail.