The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So often I read, "God doesn't give us more to bear than we can handle." Kiddies, if God has anyhing to do with it, this is just not true. Otherwise no one would take a fatal overdose, jump off a high building, or blow his/her brains out with a 9mm pistol. I choose to believe that an HP, whatever you conceive it, him, or her to be, is not responsible for insurmountable torment in our lives, and surely doesn't mete out desperate struggles just to see how much we can bear up to.
Consider carefully what you say, and the words you use in expressing yourself. Paying lip service is never helpful. "I pray that you will be given the strength to see this through," is.
Your thoughts?
Back again,
Diva
-- Edited by Diva at 09:33, 2007-10-28
-- Edited by Diva at 12:12, 2007-10-28
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
In a way, such statements almost belittle the suffering of those who truely HAVE had more than they can bear. If I was living in Darfur, or had had my home and all my children swept away by tsunami, or widefire, well, I would find it pretty cold comfort.
However, we CAN stand more than we thought we could, with the support of others, and of our HP (if we believe in a personal HP)
I know you like it hot, but hasn't the weather been glorious the last few days?!!!
That expression "God doesn't give us more to bear than we can handle." used to bother me too. Yeah right!!! And I have heard it said that God gives us hard times to bring us closer to him, so that we are reminded we need him and need to look up. That bothered me too.
Not my HP. My HP doesn't play games with my life. My God is a loving God who only wants me to be the best person I can be and to fill my life with love.
Life has it's own agenda. And bad things happen to everyone. But my HP doesn't give me hard times to test me, or manipulate me. He gave me free will just like the rest of humanity. Sooo, this are gonna happen good and bad.
I look at that expression differently now...and it becomes true for me. Preecisely!!! My God doesn't give me more than I can handle, because he don't play that game. That stuff comes from earthlings. It comes from within myself and from outside myself. If I am walking in faith I know where to turn for help. But am I gonna turn around and say "Thank you sir, may I have another" to a person or entity that is slapping me to get my attention....probably not! Can I turn to my loving God and say, Father, please help to take away this pain from me and replace it with the healing power of your love. Yep, that I can do!
So I guess it is a matter of perspective to me. When I read that quote now I look at it differently....and I agree with it. Your right, God won't give you more than you can handle. Doesn't mean you wont get more than you can handle...ALONE... its just a reminder to me when bad things happen that I have a loving HP to turn to for help.
I LOVE your answer David. Yes, the things that happen which are beyond our power to withstand are handed to us by earthlings. That being so, what happens to us, either good or bad, has little to do with God...is that a fallacy????LOL!!
OK David. I am chilled to the bone here!!! But the afternoons have been spectacular. Yesterday we went down to the Rivwewalk for supper and a stroll. Perfect!
Love to you,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
That statement has given me the willies all along. Whatever my problem was, it was complicated by me knowing now I was failing a test God put in my path. Yuck! Then I read about a rabbi whose young son had a terrible illness. Rabbi Harold S. Kushner rejected the idea God had given his son an illness to toughen up the rest of the family. What Bad Things Happen to Good People lifted such a burden from me, its been a relief ever since I read it. What Lin says is consistent with my understanding of challenges and how to meet them. This board is one of my best blessings. Ever grateful - Jill
I'm also not fond of that statement or any like it, but I figure if people believe it I just need to apply "whatever mode" to what they believe. That is a sentence and a belief created by man, not one that HP has said. Beside that, what kind of a loving HP would put anyone through some horrific circumstances as a test of faith, fortitude or whatever else? Not unless HP is a sadist control freak. That's not the HP I've grown to know. The Bible has been written and re-written (I'll probably get in trouble over that statement) many times to suit what was necessary to control people at the time. I understand that some people choose to take it verbatim, but to my knowledge there is no statement that says "HP doesn't give you more then you can handle". Beyond that, what is the definition of "handle"? Not go nuts? Not commit suicide? Not kill other people? But people do all the time. So that pretty much blows that Idea. IMO, HP doesn't give us any of it at all. It's not his style.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Great post. I do believe that sometimes we are being tested by HP (the DVD player breaks, the check bounced, I spilled coffee all over me all in the same day). But certainly not when bad things continue to happen. Like you, I don't believe that HP is responsible for all of our suffering and the ills of the world. Would a kind and loving HP let children be molested? I think not.
I can't look into a friend's face and see the pain and hurt in their heart and say "Well this is the way it's suppose to be." Someone said that to me at my Mom's funeral when I was 19! I was sooo angry at her. Even if she believed it, why say it? It didn't help me. It made me more hurt.
I prefer to offer love and support in a different way. I do believe in reminding people to be gentle with themselves. This is especially important when they are beating themselves up for not working their program hard enough according to others and themselves. They are doing the best they can, and that's where I remind them that they are exactly where they are suppose to be. That maybe if they treat themselves with more kindness that things might ease up. They will see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have also turned to a good friend at times who continued to whine about her life "to get over it" because I had had enough. I reminded her that others continue to suffer far worse than she was going through. She didn't like it at first, but saw my point. But I wouldn't dream of taking that approach with people who are suffering so much.
As always, thanks for the thought provoking post. You're keeping us on our toes. Love and blessings to you and your family. Kiss the animals for me.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I do not beleive in that quote at all, if I did I would have given up on God, the things that have happened to me in these past few months were due to human beings not God. Hub died because he could not fight the addiction for years, daughter getting pregnant, was on antibiotics while on b-control, my sons friend passing well that one I will leave to God, he was only 18. Financially, Social Security just plain screwed up, human error.
I do not believe that God would give me all this to handle, I do not believe he would want this much unhappiness on one family.
I do believe he is holding my hand, sometimes he is carrying be thru. If I did not beleive this I would have jumped of the bridge, I believe my prayers have taken some of the burden.
Great Post. Although, I am praying enough already...That he can help me and my kids get thru it all.
