The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hullo to all, I trust all is well 4 u and hopefully it is here 2!
Today I experience a miracle or a shift in my thinking.. it is important to acknowledge my benefactor/s as being consumers here and to keep their anon at the same time. I was in the room of course, and there was a conversation that started re the a..
A lot of you know abot my lil a and me keeping apart, my life being the 28 days movie script lived out over the past year.
Today a set of guests were in chat, one having made a discovery re the lie of their a and how to cope. My suggestion was a gentle first step on the issue like an ameoba consumes a food partical, poof and its gone.
More issues came out as we were all quite friendly and supportive of one another. A guest suggests to not blow it into a thing it is not as the result of the alanoner being further wounded by the incident.
To do so would only put energy on the a to create more lies and covers to keep the scene further buried, i.e. to let the event be known it ( the deception ) was known and to let it go by or in whatever means needed.
I so needed to hear that message, it was for me. I am at the end of the year out of any possible consilliation with the a on my part, all the if only-s and dishes tossing will do me no real benefit or any lasting good to either of our memories and will only create further deeper reasons to his abuses and of my idea/s of to be abused.
The guy started the humiliation phase of our relationship -- name calling when I tossed in the towel on us. I have so forgotten he ever did that -- to us -- not. To start name calling is a critical stage in the a / abuse cycles.
So I want to throw it in his face, up to that point when the chat room epiphany happened, that is to b the change I want to see -- that is to not wound the suffering soul even further by my vendetta on my wound I've not forgiven; for up to the now, as found in the blame game.
Letting go is the reward of forgiving. I must remember to use the tools as the key to me being the change I want to see. These tools are meant for inner application as well as for or toward the coping skills to the a.
So yeah, I ended us as he started the name calling phase of our relationship -- left while I could still run away -- lol -- he refused couples tx for he and I as well and I must hush and let it go now then. All the money down the drain, the promises of forever -- let gone. I drink my cup of coffee as the sun comes up in peace -- lol -- and feed the puppers a chunk of banana bread and its going to b a beautiful new day to discover the beauty we are surrounded by -- made up just for me...
gentle paths n light n love in recovery, getoverit
For me the most crucial thing to do when times are tough is to look around me and gratefully acknowledge the things in my life that are good and beautiful. I see you do that too :)
I was reading a book last night Walking Between The Worlds, by Gregg Braden, a Spiritual writer (which differs from "religious") that said ..
*You must know your extremes to find your balance.
*You are not your success, your failures, your careers or your poverty. You are not your joy, ecstacy, fear or pain. These are the elements of your experiences that allow you the opportunity to know yourself in all ways, so that those ways may be mastered.
* You are in this world, not of this world.
* Without exception, each event, every relationship, every love, every job, friendship, romance and betrayal that you have ever experienced has provided you key emotions and feelings leading to your mastery.
* We must remember that peace is a higher choice. * The responsibility for our lives, our vitality and wellbeing, originates from within us. * It is you who determines the response to anger, hate and rage. Therefore determining the outcome.
The books I read help me remember that I am a spiritual being learning lessons in a physical world. It's not always easy, but for sure if I choose gratitude and be kind to my spirit, there is always a better outcome.
take care, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
