The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know it has been a long time since I posted last, but I have been doing ok.
HOWEVER.......
today is a sad day for me.
I got a phone call from my ex-A yesterday, to tell me that his sweet mother, Lucille, passed away Monday in her sleep due to a massive stroke.
She was very special to me, and even though he and I are not together anymore, we are still friends.
I want to go to the funeral, and have been invited.
My ex-A knowing how I do not handle crowds or certain events very well, asked me if I thought I could handle going (he now realizes more about bipolar, etc)
I told him that for his mother, I want to go, and would pray for strength to get through the whole thing.
Please pray for Charlie, his family, etc.
The positive thing that I thank God for is that she died peacefully in her sleep--there was no pain. She was a Christian woman with the latter stages of Alztimers and severe dementia, and now her pain is over.
Thank you all in advance for your prayers, thoughts, etc.
By the way, I am now thinking I am not sure I can handle or should go to the funeral. It will not be like I can just get up and go home if I want to leave early. We will be out of town and I would have no way to get back. Maybe I should just pay my respects in prayer and in my own way.
Should I decide to go, any ESH on how I can get through the mental / physical anquish I may experience while attending the funeral?
replies definately requested....
Thanks,
Stacie
__________________
This is HippieTrippieChick Signing Off
Be blessed and have a wonderful day.
Remember God loves you.
PEACE
Hi Stacie: I am glad you can see both the good and the bad in the situation. Do you have a deadline when you have to make plans. I decided in the long run not to go to my own mother's funeral because really I could not handle some of the peope who would be at the funeral. In addition, going to the funeral would have represented a huge financial hardship for me. I waited to see if my older sister would offer, she did not.
So I would say rather than feel all panicked about it sit down with all the issues and ask others for their feedback. I know when I am in times of grief its imposrtant for me to take care of me. As an al anon I am not good at that.
Hi ((((Stacie)))) I just went to a funeral and I to have a hard hard HARD time doing things like that. It's hard because you feel everyone else's pain as well as your own. Here's a few things I did. I tried to be strong for his family and children and did not look at my own selfishness of MY loss (hope that made sense) I also remembered that the one that is gone is LUCKY, that they are in a beautiful place and that we should be happy for them and joyous that they are home I also pictured my friend standing in front or in back of the room watching what was going on and it made me smile. Try and find the happiness in all the beauty his mother left behind, her caring spirit and the wonderful friends she made. Try and seek out fond memories that other people have that will bring her back for that time as if she's not really gone. If you have any pictures of her, bring them and share them. It will bring her to the room for others who have not seen her that way in those pictures. It's very comforting.
You are VERY sweet to consider paying your respects and I'm sure you'll do fine. I know you are "in touch" with energy so bring tissues cause you are still going to feel the hurt of others. It just gets ya, no way around it.....even with the tools. Good luck sweetie and let me know how you are doing after you get back okay?
Realize that it is supposed to feel lousy - if you feel bad, that's OK. It's not necessary for us to feel comfortable all the time.
If you do decide not to go, don't worry yourself about it. Send an appropriate card or letter (or call) to the people you know who will be even more upset by her loss than you are, though.
I've seen this one work wonders. Go with graitude for all the good stuff that came and went between you and your mother-in-law. Go to celebrate that and focus on that only. I've seen lots of stuff that didn't work and then you didn't ask for that.
You are well. Here's asking HP to take away whatever fear that might block you from doing what's better.
