For me its now not if but when the A is going to go to jail. I hung on and hung on and hung on to try to retrieve something from the huge mess he's made of every single thing in the last year. He continues to act out and continues really to display impetuous, crazy, self absorbed behavior. There were some good outcomes from hanging on. I managed to wrest my animals from him. Then I hung on to try to get a hold of some semblance of my truck. He destroyed that. He got some money not only from the insurance company but no doubt from selling the truck.

He kept on with his talk about that I should go along in line with his planes. What was that to go over the cliff and destroy myself. I should now think about setting up someplace else with him as a fugitive. I've already been there and done that for 7 years depending on him for things he never came through on ever.

In some ways his burning himself into the ground is such a blessing. I have no doubt at all where he is headed. I have no doubt at all too anymore that he is out of my life. I have had it with his self absorption, his self pity (its always someone else's fault). I am putting together a bare bones revival package for my self. I can't say I like it but its workable. I may have to take a 2nd job for a while. The financial wreckage his behavior has wrought is incredible.

For the past month I've been beating myself into the ground about where I am. I should have this, I should be able to manage my place better, I should be able to move. Now I'm finally at the place of acceptance. The A is going to jail, if not next week in the next month. He is a reckless driver, he has no license, no inuurance. It is only a matter of time before he is picked up and jailed. He has nothing, hes destroyed everything. I stopped paying for his storage. He has 60 days before every belonging he has is sold. I have his tools and right now I am considering seriusly doing what carolina girl suggests selling them to pay off my debts. He owes me seriously for stealing and selling the truck. Of course he expects everything.

I've stopped worrying about what he is going to do. I've started focusing on what do I need to do to pay down my debts and move on to a more fruitful and pleasant life for myself. My sense of stess over his behavior was absolutely overwhelming. The fear is gone now. I hate it when the fear swallows me up and leaves me exhausted and defenceless.

I am no longer prepared to let my life be on hold while he continues to destroy everything around him. I am also no longer prepared to give him the time of day.

Maresie.