The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had came here looking for some hope and answers in helping myself as well as my children through our new journey in life. I am a new member with an alcoholic spouse that is currently going thru rehab and I want to know how and where to reach out for help for us while he is doing his outreach of his own. There have been so many hurtful years of his drinking and what it has caused him to do to bring so much pain to all of us. I live in a very small town that does not offer any alanon meetings that I am not really sure where to even look to be able to attend one. To start the healing process for me and my children. Yes I have may thoughts and fears running through my mind but, not towards getting help. More for what to expect on how my alcoholic husband will be when he does come home and weither or not if he will stick with seeking healing for himself.
I have also been trying to find information on the Al-anon twelve step process book. In order to begin to read it but, I know that I can't afford to pay for one at this time. I guess any suggestions will help. Thanks
Hello Inspired ,welcome to MIP here is the toll free number for info on meetings in your area , perhaps there is one with in a half hr drive hopfully you wil take the time to take care of you . Am happy your husb has sought help for himself , maybe there is a councelor you could start sharring some of your stuff with , try and find one that is familiar with the disease of alcoholism . Treat yourself your worth it . We have meetings here on this site in al anon chat room at 6 am and pm eastern time. until u find a meeting . Please phone the international line and locate a meeting if you can . You don't say how old your children are there is also a program for teens ,sponsored by Al-Anon members . 1-888- 4 alanon . there is always hope don't give up on you . Louise
As far as the book. If you can find a meeting, they sell them there. Some meetings will even allow you to take the book and pay it off slowly. You may want to start off with a daily reader instead of a step book. Also, How Alanon Works is an excellent book.
You can find some of these books on amazon.com used as well. If you buy multiple books you can combine shipping and get a daily reader (one day at a time, courage to change, or hope for today) and how alanon works (which has brief writings on each step as well as many other keys to our program) for $15 or less. One Day at a Time is Alanon's first reader, it's excellent and a classic. Courage to Change was the 2nd excellent as well, a little more modern, Hope for Today is more directed to Adult Children of alcoholics but also excellent. I own all three.
At the meeting they pass a basket. There are no dues or fees you give what you can. Alot of people put a buck in (some more, some less, some nothing that day). I remember when I used to think I couldn't afford the $1. Now, that $1 is a small price to pay for my own sanity, peace and well being.
If there are no meetings in your area, you could even consider starting one. One way to find others affected by alcoholism is to ask your childrens counselor at school to ask if other parents that are in similiar situations would be interested in an Alanon Meeting. She can just tell you if they are or not, not who they are. Once it's started they are excellent resources to get the word out.
Thanks, Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Let me tell you, you are leaps and bounds ahead of a lot of people! When I first found out about Alanon, I just wanted to find out how to make my husband stop drinking...I wasn't the one with a problem! LOL!
There is lots of good info here, the online meetings are great, as is the chatroom. If you happen to go in there, and they are busy talking about something else, just barge right in and tell them you need to talk! Good ESH (experience, strength and hope) from bobump and abby! Hope to talk to you or read more of your posts. Best if luck to you, children, and hubby. Love in Recovery, Becky1
I am so glad you have looked for al anon before your AH (alcoholic husband) comes home. There are so many things to learn in al anon that will help you, and without realizing, positively affect your AH's recovery. There is a non-alanon endorsed, but very beneficial, website called gettingthemsober.com that has a lot of free chapters online to read. You should also try your local library, just search for anything with the subject of alcoholism or al anon. The AA Big Book is a great resource to get an understanding of what your AH is working on, and there is a chapter called "To the Wives," that is for the spouses of A's.
Also - I live in a very rural county and was pleasantly surprised that there is a meeting here. If you call the AA hotline in your phone book, they also have a list of al anon meetings.
From my own experience, I/we did everything wrong when my spouse came home from rehab. I was not very educated on the whole disease of alcoholism/addiction and I had not found al-anon yet, though it had been recommended many times. I was very unprepared. When they say they can't come home to an old idea, well, let's just say there is truth to that. The biggest mistakes I made were letting him come home (rather than a different sober environment), pushing to work on our relationship (where all he could manage was staying sober), and allowing myself to be the policeman (which resulted in resentment). It took a matter of a couple of weeks before he slid off the "pink cloud" and into the pit of hell. Anger and emotional shutdown returned quickly.
Good luck to you and your children. I encourage you to face your fears and get the help you and your children need and deserve. It won't be time wasted.
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
