The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Some say I have found my bottom, believe me it's not pretty down here.
I have been in program just under three years. During that time I was asked to start a new meeting at our church, which after a year is doing well. I have been going to as many functions as I can, retreats, AA weekend functions and at times as many as 5 different 12 step meetings a week. During this time I've gotten many crisis calls, dealt with an addict son and an opiat addicted sister.
On the first weekend of this month I went to Heart to Heart and pretty much just fell apart. I didn't know whether I was having a breakdown or was really sick but I ended up coming home early because I felt so badly.
When I went to my doctor he diagnosed me with Emotional Exhaustion. He says I have pretty much used up the seretonin in my brain.
Has anyone else faced this problem? If so what were some of the things you did to get yourself past it?
Thanks for your input. Barb
__________________
Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
I have felt what I think you are describing... and I will tell you what I did. I found a wonderful web site and posted 1100 times sharing my feelings and reading what others have to replied to help me, spent time with my HP looking at the sunrise and opened up to some new friends that were capable of enjoying the blessings of this world with me.
I am not cured I don't think.... but I feel much better, and by the way the sunrise this morning is absolutely stunning!
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Hmmm - I think I am feeling something of what you have described....just in the past week or so. In fact, I found myself curled up in the fetal position on the couch Tuesday night, tears just streaming down my face and in a complete non existant zone. Pretty scary! I can tell you I did NOT enjoy that little breakdown. I als had an mini anxiety attack earlier in that day while I was at work and had to go sit in the bathroom so I could meditate and work passed it w/out drawing too much attention to myself at work.
It sucks. I can tell you. I don't go to a therapist or doctor for any of my emotional ups and downs. So I cannot give you any experience with that. But I can tell you that after Tuesday, I started examining myself, my life, my schedule. What am I so worked up about? What are the stresses in my life? Which ones can I ditch? I came up w/a few answers. I am planning on unloading a couple of those obligations that I managed to take on over the last few months that seem to be adding to my tensions. Like volunteer work. I want to be able to do it WHEN I WANT and as often or as little as I want. I do NOT want to feel obligated to show up a certain number of days every week. If I am going to do it, it will have to be on my schedule not someone elses. Now, I am not one to engage in conflicts in my personal life and confronting those who have put this weight on my shoulders is going to VERY difficult for me.....but it is something I have to do for my own sanity.
The next thing I plan on doing is addressing my AH. He is adding tensions to my life just by trying to win me back. I don't want to reconcile or work on "US". I am doing trying. But telling him this will be very very very difficult as I have told him before many times and it is never easy but I think it will be doubly hard this time.
Good luck w/figuring it all out. We are here for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I know what you are talking about...just can't handle one more thing...just can't think... what has worked for me in the past was be gentle with me and taking care of me...simple things like a hot shower, my comfy clothes, a cup of tea..let the machine pick up the phone..you get the idea. Keeping you in my prayers.....know this too will pass. your friend in recovery, rosie
Yes, I have been emotionally exhausted. I wound up in a mental health hospital after living with an alcoholic. It sucks the life out of you. I have made adjustments to my schedule. When I come home from work, I take 30 mins to myself. My children know this is quiet time for me and that Mom needs a break to regroup. I started writing in a journal, going to meetings, and taking walks around nature while talking to HP. I look for humor in everything I can. I know how you feel so exhausted that you just want to crawl up into a ball and lay there forever. Slowly I started making boundaries with people and if they didn't like it then too bad. I don't fall for the guilt trips anymore. I know when I start doing that then I am headed for trouble. Meditation can work wonders too. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep holding on. It will get better. Do you have a God box? Whatever you can't handle or anything you need, write it down and put it in the box and let it go. HP will take care of it while you take care of YOU.
Ive definitely been there. I've got to the point I cannot go on and am exhausted. I had to have friends reassure and help me. The a drove me there with his non stop destrutcitve behavior. i think I had a 6th sense he was going to destroy the truck I was so upset. Now he has destroyed it (to all intents and purposes) I can live with it. Its a truck I can replace it. I can't replace my mental health.
I hope you take care of you. Too much crisis is hard on anyone. That why I set a lot of distance between me and the A.
Thank you all so much for your ESH. It has all helped me tremendously!
I am being good to myself, doing only what I want to each day plus only one thing that I really don't want to do and that seems to be helping. Reading "Just For Today" keeps me on track as well.
We are getting away next week, going to Branson and renting a cabin in the woods. No telephone's and I can turn my cell off if I want. No I'm not cooking, I don't cook on a vacation. Lots of shopping and good eats to keep us busy or not busy depending on what we want to do.
At this point I'm sleeping at least 10 hours a night so logic tells me I need it. I don't feel depressed just have no drive to do much of anything unless it strikes me at the moment. I figure I didn't get to this point in a week so it may just take a little longer than that to get over it. So far the dust bunnies haven't taken over the house and I haven't named them yet so that is ok. If they get too bad I'll just shellac them and call it art. Seems like a plan to me.
HEY I can still laugh so I'm not too far gone.
Thanks again!
__________________
Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
(((barb)))) sounds like youare doing better, and taking care of you. Ya know the dust bunnies will be there when you are ready to get rid of them..so no worries :) Have a great time at the cabin..keeping you in my thoughts.
Lots of shopping and good eats to keep us busy or not busy depending on what we want to do.