The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Dear all, at present I am very short of money and have just withdrawn from a potential job which I felt would be a negative experience. I did not get a good impression of the person I would be teaching and normally I would force this situation to be right as the money for the job was excellent. I am just not able for it at the moment and quite frankly am sick of takers. My Phd supervisor needs an update each week and I am providing this so am a lot more at ease with this situation which had been one of avoidance on my part. I feel guilty at not followng through with the job as my family will go without as a result but my instincts were not good on same and I did think about it carefully. I sent the email this morning pulling out of same. Ex-A is back at work after illness, back drinking again too, not getting paid on time but has looked after our son while I was away and did not go out while doing so, I am grateful for this. Our son is 14 today and going over to my father and step mother, both alcoholics unfortunately, bottles of whisky a day etc. I am less anxious but am still stressed on paperwork. It helps to vent.
Isn't it a blessing to have this place to come and unload those feelings and know others will understand? Happy birthday to you son, I hope he has a wonderful day.
I admire you for taking care of yourself... it is something I have not often done in the past, and very hard to do in the face of financial issues, or for me, the face of potential conflict.
There are blessings out there that money just simply can't buy. This morning I am relaxing have the doors open because it is a crisp clear morning... and the birds are keeping me company with thier chatter. I feel truly blessed.
So many times recently when I close one door and expect the worst... another door just opens right in front of me with something unexpected, and many times better. I wish that for you this day.
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
(((Marie rua))), When I make a choice like you did, to get myself out of an unhealthy situation, I can tell it was a good one by the fact that the fact that I feel good about it afterwards. We all have to make some choices in our life. I think in the same situation I would have done the same as you, money is not worth my personal well being.
I hope this is a good day for you and your son. I hope he has a happy birthday.
HP has something better for you.
Yours in recovery, Mandy aka Dolphin123
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
happy birthday to your son! i have in the past taken struggley jobs with the idea that i must make ends meet. but last year i read a book called money drunk, money sober.. very interesting read and it completely changed my thinking. i was a dogged, frugal survivor before, now sometimes i buy something for myself that will give me joy even if the ends seem unlikely to meet. i also choose to thank god in advance for meeting my needs for the rest of my life.... well i got this far! sorry i dont have all the info on the book, i'll get it for you and post it. it explains the concept of 'debting to the self'. eg. bad jobs that drain your life force so that ultimately they cause you to binge spend, or create a crisis in order to avoid the job. i'm not describing it as well as i'd like but the ideas are good... anyway the authors have a lot of 12step recovery behind them and their idea seemed to me to be not to take the bad job especially if that was a pattern. i have come to believe that god wants me to be well so i do what is required to stay well. i hope that by listening to yourself you have made space for the right job.
Thanks for sharing that. It was inspirational for me.
When it comes to $$ decisions I often make them from a place of 'not enough' and a fear of never having enough instead of trusting that my HP will provide me the channel for resources to come my way another way.
I've often lost myself doing this.
I did have a small victory recently. I was asked to go from 1 wk / mo on call to 4 wks / month on call. I remember when I used to do 3 how stressed I was and how I felt that 1 week I had off. I sure could use the extra $675/mo (pre tax) but I turned it down.
THAT was a first for me.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
