The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In my earlier post I wrote about how I am trying to decide if a recent job offer is a good move for me. A second one came in, this one is out of state and back where I used to live. The company is an ideal size for me - 200 people - and the community is much smaller, just what I like! The downside is I would have to move and start again building a life for me. But I do have a lot of old friends in within 30-60 minutes.
What is really stressing me out is the change with the A. He is working a strong program. We broke up for a few months this summer when I had enough of his binging. He found recovery on his own. We are now working on building a friendship and starting to date on a new healthy level though I am trying to ensure there is enough distance in the relationship to keep me healthy.
But this decision is stressing me out. Do I stay, go? I've moved alot. Sometimes he stresses me out. Where is the EASY button?
I guess that's my HP. I have to keep the focus on me and what is the best decision for my recovery...keep it simple....
I have never been in your exact shoes.....as I still live in the same town I grew up in and moving away has never been and never will be an option for me. Job or no job. My life is here.
I guess if I were in your shoes, I'd start making a pros/cons list for this job or that AND living here vs there. For me, first and foremost, I'd have to decide where I really wanted to live. Then I would choose the job accordingly. If I am happy w/my home life, I can deal w/work and it's ups and downs. But if I am miserable at home, work isn't going to be easy for me no matter what. Besides, you can always change jobs again if you are unhappy. Moving isn't so easy. In saying that, I am not saying stay. I am simply saying, figure out where you want to live and find work to support that decision. But that is just me.
Thanks for your feedback. That is exactly what I needed to hear. I've been looking at 'the job' as the answer - I do need to determine if I want to make a life here or there first and foremost. That is the true issue.
I am looking forward to the time when I am grounded and stablized in my community. I admire taht you've never moved and I hope to be that person after this decision. You are wise and I'm thanking my HP for you - I feel a sense of calm already.
When I think about choices I get more excited about some than others. Some are logical, and some are what you feel good about inside. I would go with my gut and pick the one that I get most excited thinking about. Better lots of good choices than lots of bad ones! LOL
Twinkie, this new offer seems to have everything going for it. I would study this one closely, as it seems to be a perfect fit for you.
As for moving...look at that as an adventure and a reason to get rid of junk you have been collecting. Have a great garage sale, and look forward to gathering again in your new home.
All best decision-making wishes,
Diva
-- Edited by Diva at 21:23, 2007-09-10
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Without reading anyone else's post I would say my opinion is......Gooooooo for it!! I just believe you can not invest your future in a man who is totally not stable. He may be for the moment but you do not know what the future holds. If he is the man for you then he will make a way to come where you are. Who knows if this job will be a great job, you never know. Life is so uncertain but you do not need to waste anymore time on this man. He's already let you down before. When they say "take care of yourself" they mean it. You'd be crazy not to take this great chance. You will have friends...that's priceless right there. If he's the one for you sweetie pie, then he will fight heaven or hell to get to where you are, without you asking him to follow you. I'm so excited for you. Congrats chickie.
