The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I think it's been a couple weeks since I joined and I have been sort of quiet since. I think I'm just trying to enjoy the peacefulness of having my daughter living somewhere else without feeling guilty because I feel that way and without trying to project too much into the future. Her situation is not permanent, she has a lot of work to do to actually get out of our house but she isn't staying there which has been a blessing. She works full time, is and has been very responsible in that respect. I honestly don't know how they put up with her sometimes as her mouth runs continually but they like her and always have. She has appeared in court twice, once to be arraigned and then for a second arraignment with her counsel present to enter her plea. Her trial is scheduled in November but if things go as they usually do it will be bumped 2 or 3 times before she ever gets there. I have been there both times and that is all the contact I've had with her except for a few phone calls. She is unusually pleasant, no attitude at all which in all honesty is scary. I guess I got on to "her" stuff here. Not where I'm suppose to be is it? The hard truth is I miss her, but I think I miss what I wanted us to be, not what we were so I need to get over that. I am enjoying the silence, I am enjoying driving up the drive and not seeing her car there, I am enjoying not hearing her come in at all hours of the night and behaving as if she lived alone. It's a nice break but I fear that's all it is. The longer she's gone the more I allow myself to forget the fights and the nastiness and when it comes right down to it, I would probably allow her back in. I'm hoping my husband stands his ground on that because I don't know if I'm strong enough.
It truly feels good and okay to have a couple weeks pass without feeling like I'm living in crisis mode. Maybe I'm stronger than I think, I do know that I don't want to live that way again so maybe just maybe I can be solid.
The A I've lived with is in crisis mode all the time. He's also going to have a 2nd arraignment on Tuesday. i think he is pleading not guilty. He is claiming he is moving out of state so how he can appear at trial I dont' know. I dont' get into it with him too much anymore.
I am also relieved to be out of the chaos. I spent last weekend with him it was hard going. I was so so relieved when he left. I offer very very little anymore.
I dont' even try to make sense of his craziness anymore.
Hello Toni , funny how we miss the chaos isn't it . we pray for it to end and when it does , it just dosent feel right . My sponsor calls that stage of quiet How do u manage when there is no one left to manage ??? her answer is always the same NOW you get a life !!!!! Let them live thier own life while u get on with yours . good luck keep commin back Louise
