The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was going to quit smoking today (AGAIN!!!). I was sure I was going to do it. Half way to work I stopped and bought a pack of cigarettes and I was soooo disappointed in myself. Then I thought this must be what they feel like times ten. Cigarettes may be killing me but at least they don't cost me EVERYTHING. Anyway, I have thought this before but today it really kicked me in the butt. I thought to myself well just be glad that you have stuck to your diet (atkins) and lost 30 lbs so far and be proud of that.
I think a great exercise in understanding would be to give up your vice for a month and see how it feels, be it sugar, cigarettes, caffeine, whatever. And just feel how that feels and imagine that's how it is for them only greatly magnified. It helps me to keep perspective. Although I didn't do it this time, I know when I am in the right frame of mind I will. Even after quitting for 1 1/2 years I still picked them up again. I guess I can be thankful it was something that kills me slowly rather than destroys my life and everyone who is close to me.
I thought I had heard somewhere that nicotine is the MOST addictive drug out there. So don't be so hard on yourself for giving in to the craving. Try to cut back slowly if cold turkey doesn't work for you. Knock yourself back by one/day for a week. Then knock back another one/day. Maybe that will help. If nothing else, you will be smoking less than before. Maybe figure out your triggers. I had a friend when I was a teenager who only smoked in the car and when getting ready to go out at night. That was it. If driving in your car is a trigger, see if you can get to work before smoking. Tell yourself, don't smoke in the car, just wait until you get where you are going, then you can have that cigarette.
I am giving all of these suggestions and haven't a clue if they really work. I don't have any major addictions outside of chocolate during that time of the month. I guess I should consider myself lucky. Ya know.
Good luck w/the smoking. I am here for you. Sincerely, QOD
It took me three tries over a period of a year and a half to quit smoking. I have thought of this occasionally in relation to my A on his 3rd try to get sober, now.
You are right about the right frame of mind. It took me working hard on myself until i could see cigarettes as foul and unacceptable before I could quit for good. Now I seldom have a craving, and the smell of cig smoke almost makes me nauseous. I count this as a good thing, although it has made it hard for my A at times. He still smokes.
Anyway, just keep trying. Most people take several tries I think.
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I started smoking at 12 yrs old and quit at 27 when I got pg with my son. On occasion, if I drink I'll have a pack! OMG I feel like a beat up dog the next day. I quit cold turkey because I was gonig to have a child and now I think they are very gross and make you smell disgusting so that helps to keep me from them. But I have to be very careful if I am out drinking in a smokey bar because it takes alot of will power not to want one for some wierd reason. I can go 2-3 years without touching one and stepping into a smokey bar sets me off. So it does take ALOT of will power. Good luck. You can do it and you will feel Sooooooooooooooo much better I promise.
I agree - if making changes is so hard for us, how hard is it for them? We don't have to put up with their unacceptable behavoiur, but we don't have to feel contempt for them either. Kicking a habit of our own, be it smoking or interfering, helps give some perspective.
