Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

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Post Info TOPIC: I am new here.


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 3
Date:
I am new here.






http://www.youtube.com/user/honeysinger1967


About Me: Christian Tbi survivor from domestic violence. Love Christian fellowship, reading my Bible each day, praying. My last online college writing class was in  Spring 2007. Fall of 2006 was first semester since tbi that I got a decent grade in college (B+). Have Associate Degree in Liberal Studies from before the tbi. Unable to successsfully complete any college class till Fall of 2006. My language skills have stayed somewhat. I can still sing. I have some rythm skills. Most of anything else was lost. I grew up  in a Christian home.

My present husband is  not hitting me but is abusive in other ways and he is an alcoholic who also uses marijuana.  He also is stupid enough to run for other people for the weed if they cannot find it. HIs whole lifestyle is revolving around the addciitons he has and the people connected to it........and I am struggling to recover form teh  multiple tbi I have had. I need more help and support from my husband and he is not willing to give it and also does not even show interest in what is really my condition. I gave him a copy of a scatbi evaluation result (4pga) so a nurse friend of his could maybe explain my condiiton to him. instea him and the friend went to get chinese food for supper and instea dof only doing that tnasd coming back they went someplace to buy weed and my husband was inside too long and  the freind left without him. I was being told the friend is moving to Philadelphia from Vermont where we live and was told he was leaving on Friday, then Sauturday. Now I do not have my medical papers that I gave to my husband becasue he left them with his friend when oging inside to  get his junk.  And I just found  out this morjing that his friend did nto leave for Philadelphia yet....and  he still has my papers. I told my husband to get those papers back TODAY or else. He does not know what the or else is.....it means I will never trust him to have any sincere concern fo rme and my condition again. He also does not have respect for my mecidal informaiton privacy to leave that stuff with the friend of his WHO LIVES RIGHT NEXT DOOR>.....then he blamed me for not getting them myslef. but I was being told the guy was leaivng and thought he was gone......I felt disrepected and like my life is on hold while my husband hangs out with  people and  gets high and drunk. He does not bother with a socail life with me outside of our house and whatever he does out of the house 99% of the time he does not have me with him or include me......or even want me to know where he is.....and I suspect him cheating on me.....

I have a tbi case manager, a tbi specialist, a counselor and primary doctor and a speech therapist......the speech therapist is on hold  and waiting to do cognitive therapy with me when my home life and life in general is more  calm and also I have to be rested consistently on a notrmal basis in my life for a long enough period.....so my tbi recovery is on hold too becaus eof my husband and his behaviour and lifestyle...for me to move forward with tbi recovery I may have to move into housing woithout my husband and leave him someplace else to get cleaned up......so i can get the rest I need and also  the cognitive therapy and other things I am not getting bevcuas eof him......


__________________
TBI is called a silent illness.


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2287
Date:

Looks like you know what needs to be done, hon.  You can't count on your husband to take care of you - that is just a fact of who he is. 

Continuing to trust him with your care, letting him be the one who holds your papers, etec - that is just setting yourself up for a fall.  You need to take care of yourself, and entrust your care to people who are reliable, and he isn't.

We have all been where you are, in the sense that we had to learn the hard way not to rely on someone who just is not reliable.  You can make alanon - both face to face meetings and this board - part of your team.  Right now your health has to take priority - there is nothing wrong or selfish in you doing what you need to do to take care of yourself.  Welcome.

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 810
Date:

Hi Honeycomb, welcome to our board. Wow . . . you have been through the wringer. You are obviously a survivor.

I'm sorry your current husband is such a mess and won't even try to understand what you are going through. You do have a huge team it sounds like, of people who are there for you.

If your home life is so bad that you can't concentrate on your therapy, perhaps a quiet place by yourself is the right idea.

Alanon will be yet another resource and source of support for you, and this board is great for in between meetings or when you can't get out. Are you able to drive yet?

I'm really glad you found us and hope you continue to post here about what's going on with you. You sound like you are doing great, even with a husband who is out of control and insensitive to your needs.

Take care of YOU first. That's our motto around here :) Kim

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