The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so sick and tired of scrounging at the bottom just to get by. My ex A sent me an e-mail threatening to hire a private investigator to find me. He can afford a private investigator, but he couldn't pay child support for the last 7 years! Now I am working for a company that has an A for an owner. He lied to me about my salary among other things. There is no retirement plan. Everyone in the office makes comments about how cheap he is. He certainly could afford to go buy a new SUV! We are supposed to get quarterly bonuses and none of us have seen them! I am so sick of the BS!! He looks like he's high everyday. He expects everyone in the office to take on too much responsibility while he disappears for hours. I didn't want to have another job on my resume that only lasted a year. How do I explain this to a potential employer??? Gee, my boss is on drugs and drinks a lot and only pays himself well, so I have decided to find another job. NOT!!! Then, you need your degree for most of the jobs out there. I don't have the money or the time to finish my degree! I am a very giving person, but I feel I am going down the road to being a stingy, money hoarding person. My mother said she would do whatever it takes for me to go to nursing school, but not for me to go for any other degree. I have no desire to be a nurse. I am terrible in Science. It's not my forte.
I thought I was getting a little break when I met someone. I thought, "Great, someone I can date and have fun with." NO!!! Twice, he has not called when he said he would. That tells me he cannot be trusted to do what he says he will do. Part of me wants to let it slide by and the other part of me thinks I am being too critical. I feel like I am in a box and I can't get out!
Ok chickie, here's my opinion. lol The guy that doesn't call you back can go Pack Sand! He's irresponsible and disrespectful, you don't need that. Then...........I hear so many excuses as to why you can not succeed. You need to find your self confidence girl. You can do anything. You know it may not work with an A for a boss and with the economy chances are that he's not going to be giving with the funds right? You don't HAVE to put it on your resume, if you do there are many many reasons you can give as to why you found new employment that are not bad. You ex A is pulling as strings it sounds like, he has nothing so he threatening an PI? What a butt. Shouldn't he be paying you arrearages for child support? If not, then I would pursue that. There are so many ways you can get that too. You can put a lien on his home, take away his drivers license, take any extra assets. Lots of things to do to get the money you are owed. I know things probably are not that easy but just wanted to give ya some idea's to lift your spirits. Stay strong, you WILL pull through. Times are hard as hell right now. Me and a few of my friends are ALL struggling, it's the economy..........feels like sinking. (or a box) :) mwah.
Sometimes for me it starts with how I treat myself. That draws those people into my life. I know what you are saying. So I work hard at telling myself that I desire the best. And so do you! Your HP loves you too.
Kissers there is nothing that can stop you from looking into jobs while you are still working.
Then you can say you are looking for something more challenging or one with retirement etc.
I know you are frustrated. But hon we have to look for our own happiness. The guy did not call. So go on and cont to be happy and deciding what to do with your life. I would not talk to him again. I want people who do what they say in my life.
Things will change, they never stay the same. It is up to us to decide what we want and not allow anything to stop us.
There is financial aid, share rent, if you want to go to school, really want to, you can do it. You will figure it out. Do what you are passionate about. What do you want in YOUR life?
I am doing what I want, I will not, and have not let anyone or anything stop me. Feel so happy, blessed and humble.
You sound very frustrated. I wish you the very best and relief from your current problems. Keep sharing and working the steps. Prayers for you. Glad you posted.
I'm with Debilyn. You can get financial aid to get the BA and the cost of classes and books will be paid with some left over probably. As for the job from hell, I would definitely be looking. Try to find something that pays more and use that as your excuse you're not making enough to meet your financial responsibilities at your current employer......
I'm a job hopper too and like to change jobs a lot, I'm working really hard to stay at this one as long as possible but I like my boss and that's a BIG BIG thing!
I'm with the others, find something else and dump that job. The last thing you need now is ANOTHER unstable person in your life to push your codependent buttons.
Hugs to you, Hon. You can get through this.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
((((kissers))) I believe in yas. and HP/Gods gotcha too. i see lots of people that do and want the best forYou. Right Here, in Alanon. ya know., all that each one of us really *do have., is "Time." it goes by so fast for all of us.. lol especially as we get older.
i pray you'll see the way to get financial aid and finish that degree.... If its aiming towards doing what you have a passion for. go for it!! there is a way! ~ sure, yeppers., it's gonna be hard. lots of studyin... but i would rather be focusin on that instead of all the negative "effects" around me..., like my ex A, the diseased bosses and there was a time it was some co-workers that made me feel awful about being there...i would cry once i got home..hated facing the next day...they were so hateful. (((kissers)))... been right where you are. o h... now its so much better. i love what i do and i enjoy my work. I found away. And HP/God guided me all the way through it to *reach my goals. just knowing you'd be striving towards a goal... thats so wunderfulllll. and yes..there is a better job! I "stop!" those negative mindful thoughts. I STOP and not let myself think there isnt. I strive to believe each day to be filled with positive thought. Filling my heart and mind with *power. only letting in positive thinking and letting HP/God show me the way. And HP/God does. Just have to step out of his way....
lol....i've too used diff., reasons for leaving a job (once i found another) like there wasnt' a retirement plan or it was in a bad location or i wanted better pay and better benefits. You CAN do anything you set your MiND to Do.YeS YoU cAN. lalallala.
on the note of the problems with the ex., its been many years ago.. but if my ex a was talkin trash and /or makin threats to get a p.i., i'd of told him to go ahead. (cause i knew i was doing the best i could and i had nothing to hide.) also it would of been more written proof for the lawyer. it would've been "in writing." Material evidence. (the p.i. and his reports would be called into court..even if just to talk with the lawyer or the judge.) And... IF he could do this (hire a P.I.,) it would only of been more proof he had the money to take care of his personal family related responsibilities. (for you it's the childrens financial support.) We all know a private investigator is not cheap.
i think it would be wunderfull for You to do what you have a passion for... rememberin' we've only this life. enjoy and strive to make the most of it!! We are and HP/God is right here to cheer you through it.
Stayin in the moment and not projecting negative thoughts is not easy, but is possible. And THAT all I need to Believe; That if its possible.. it's worth trying to make it so."
Keep Comin Back ~ Keep Looking uP Let HP/take care of those that are in your way. *** So Glad Your Here ***
Right Here, in Alanon.
. but i would rather be focusin on that instead of all the negative "effects" around me..., like my ex A, the diseased bosses and there was a time it was some co-workers that made me feel awful about being there...i would cry once i got home..hated facing the next day...they were so hateful. (((kissers)))... been right where you are. o h... now its so much better. i love what i do and i enjoy my work. I found away. And HP/God guided me all the way through it to *reach my goals. 
just knowing you'd be striving towards a goal... thats so wunderfulllll.
and yes..there is a better job! I "stop!" those negative mindful thoughts. I STOP and not let myself think there isnt. I strive to believe each day to be filled with positive thought. Filling my heart and mind with *power. only letting in positive thinking and letting HP/God show me the way. And HP/God does. Just have to step out of his way....
lol....i've too used diff., reasons for leaving a job (once i found another) like there wasnt' a retirement plan or it was in a bad location or i wanted better pay and better benefits.
Material evidence. (the p.i. and his reports would be called into court..even if just to talk with the lawyer or the judge.) And... IF he could do this (hire a P.I.,) it would only of been more proof he had the money to take care of his personal family related responsibilities. (for you it's the childrens financial support.) We all know a private investigator is not cheap.
Let HP/take care of those that are in your way. *** So Glad Your Here ***