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I am at a very strange point where I don't know what I want in my life. My boyfriend, fresh out of rehab is drinking again- the first few days started out being able to hold it together until I went to bed then yesterday just went on a full out drinking binge all day. When I got home I was very proud of myself. I didn't act disapointed or say anything at all. But I told him that if it was going to be like this then I didn't think we should live together anymore because I didn't want to be around him drunk. I told him that it was his choice if he drinks or not but living together, I have to be around him drunk, passed out or whatever and I don't like it.
I know that this is what I want..but I sometimes I really miss the days when we were first dating and we just went out and had fun (usually drunk) and I didn't think about alcoholism every day. I just want to be a normal couple! I feel like living with him and his drinking has driven us apart at least on my end because I look at him completely differently. Now either he's sober and not really in a good mood, or he's drunk- and we all know where that ends up (not just drunk but incoherent).
Is it extremely hurtful to the alcoholic if we drink with them sometimes? I was so ready to completely cut out bars and other things involving alcohol, if he wasn't drinking. But it truely doesn't do any good! Whether or not we go out, or I have a drink- he will still drink! So what if we went out to a bar this weekend? Would that be encouraging him? Is it so wrong that I know that he'll be drunk by the end of the night anyways that at least I can have a little fun with him? I don't want to sabatoge his recovery but I know that it's not up to me and I'm at a point where I'm kind of giving up on him (as sad as that sounds ). I know that he is so addicted that it will take a LOT of work on his part to stay sober and right now he's not at that point.
Ahh! Feeling frustrated! Any words of wisdom would be appreciated
Hello Summer , the biggest mistake I made over and over again was to expect my husband to act normal. Alcoholics are not normal . period I drank with my husb too for a few yrs but when i stopped he carried on until he was in full blown alcoholism. I wish u luck ,take care of you and you will be fine and if your going to stay in this relationship please find some Al-Anon meetings for yourself your going to need them . Louise
We all struggle with what to do when we are with these A's. I posted awhile back about drinking if you are not the A. I used to ask my AHsober if he minded if I drank a glass of wine with dinner. Now I wonder. I really don't think we are having much fun when they are drinking and we drink too because usually we are watching them to see if they are going to get drunk. Just my opinion. Try focusing on yourself and going to meetings and see how it looks in a couple of months.
). I know that he is so addicted that it will take a LOT of work on his part to stay sober and right now he's not at that point. 