The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was reading through the posts on the board.. And I got to thinking about when I first joined this fellowship. It was the 20/01/06. I remember the exact day becuase: that was the day I realised I belonged somewhere.
Why I joined it was, because my life was, beyond my control..And I was in pain.
I had grown up "feeling" Different somehow, and I didn't know why. But now I can look back and say..WOW..I was no different from anyone else. My perception of "ME" was the problem... I have had the "It's all my fault", "If I didn't do that, he wouldn't drink", "Why me"..I could go on and on.
I have been seriously affected by a drinker in my life. I got to the point I was living day to day on automatic mode. I "accepted" my life for what it was. I dont today..
For me joining this fellowship has let me start my life. I was 34 years old when I got here. I knew everything, I was perfect..etc.. I knew bugger all, and I was far from being perfect.
For people to come to this board, they are at their witts end, scared, lonely and in a great deal of pain. The one thing they do Is "Blame" themselves for the drinker,or for what the drinker has done to them or their families.. We have no "control" over that drinker, we did not "Cause it" and we connot "Cure it".
Al-anon is for the people who have suffered at the hands of this "Illness". It is easy to say, Alcoholism is "self-inflicted", the drinker does this because they want to, the like to be cruel, selfish and hurt people.They remember what they did the next day, they have no remorse..It would be easier to accept "Alcoholism" if this was the case.
The Alcoholic has a disease, they have an obsession for alcohol, they have the compulsion to drink, and they cant stop once they start. And in the intoxicated state they do not have control over their actions. "Verbal" or "Physical"....
My life is run "Day by Day" on my programme. I start my day with a daily reader, I ask my "HP" to walk with me throughout the day, do for me, what I can't do for myself. I got to face to face meetings, sometimes four a week (im lucky I have this option). I have opened a face to face group, and I'm attempting to give back what I have received from this fellowship. I come to MIP, I go into the chatroom, I enjoy sharing things with members about myself, If Im at a meeting I will try to share on every topic, pass on what I'm learning. And I come on this board, post and reply to others just starting out here.
I'm working the 12 steps (adapted from AA). I have a sponsor who is in both fellowships. I use the steps in my every day living, and I can see the difference. I am more, "Patient", "Understanding", "Trusting", "Generally i am being "restored to sanity" (almost..lol).
When I heard the slogan "Let go and Let God", I never understood that one. But I have decided after all this time I am still struggling with the "Turning my life and my will over" so, I am going to speak to my priest, and see if he can help me to see this part more clearly...
Al-Anon is a life changing experience for me. I would encourage all new new members, anyone who reads this board. If your life is "unmanageable" try sticking around here, Read whats on here, ask questions if your not sure, join the chatroom and just listen to others sharing their "Experience, Strength & hope"... We have ALL been where you are at one time or another..We have fought back, stood up and been counted...YOU can too..
