The material presented
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We were at my step-sons wedding on the weekend. MY 35 yr. step-daughter was pretty drunk to say the least. Her hubby was killed 2 years ago. She was really upset about her 2 daughters (10 &; 8) not knowing their father. I told my hubby drinking sure doesn't help the situation. They also had parties when her hubby was alive--and I know she still does. Her girls are behind in school and they get so upset to see their Mom like this. She now has a boyfriend--he has a history of drugs and booze and children from past relationships. My hubby says she's not a alcoholic;--I said doesn;t matter--her drinking is affecting so many-- especially her girls. We live 14 hrs. from her--DH is going nuts thinking of ways to help her---I said she has to hit bottom and hope soon - before social services take the kids--don't know if that can happen. I do go occasionally to meeting so that helps--I have a A son and now his daughter................ Is there ever a end to it all?? I would appreciate any wisdom.........
We only wish there was a magic wand huh? It ends when there is nowhere to go but up. Our version of helping them is never the help they really need. It only prolongs hitting bottom. The only thing we can do is attend the meetings, do the steps and use the Alanon tools provided to us.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
It ended for me when I surrendered it all including myself over to my Higher Power. I have no control period!! and that is okay for me today. I have responsibilities of my own to take care of and when I have a little time left over I get to peek and see how God is working in other peoples' lives without my help. That whole thing use to sound so trite to me when I first got into program. When it sounded trite I exerted more pressure of what I could not control and the consequences were that the pain got unbearable.
I turn situations over to God...my Son-in-law just went to Iraq. It is absolutely useless for me to get off on that whole situation and add the justifications for my resistance such as my daughter, two grandsons, helicopter (he's an Apache pilot) dowings etc. I have done my emails to the representatives. I have vented to them and made my pleas and suggestions. Now I am done and God is not. I will keep peeking cause I know what the will of my God is.
Might crank up your attendance at face to face meetings and get as many (((((hugs))))) as you can.
Sometimes calling social services is the best way. If they come in and she's drinking they may order her to have random alcohol testing. I don't know for sure but it's something. I hate to see children hurt in anyway (emotionally) Normally I would suggest not getting involved but I believe if children are involved that someone needs to step in for the children. God forbid she drives drunk and they die. Could you get ESH from your al anon group about the matter? Or maybe call child services anonymously and ask what could be done before stirring the pot? Just some suggestions. I wish you the best. I know this is heartbreaking.
