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Just checkin in real quick, it was super long night , babysitting a A that has been up for days and seeing things and ghosts. Meth is going to be the distruction of this country.... drama drama and more drama... He will sleep probly till tomorrow and I will offer him the tools of recovery if he wants them, it will be his choice... I found a detox center that is ready for him at the word G-O .... so the ball will be in his court. I hand it over and though it is far from over I do feel some relief , even if it is false relief for today. I know nothing will happen today.
I tried to attend meeting last night but got emial that there is a Auto ins claim available online "WHAT?" I still dont know what happen with that yet, but after some sleep I will have to find out what happen there, I dont see damage to his truck, he said something about a cable on a power pole, but inbetween the ghosts in the house and the gazillion people that were outside, or so he was convinced I couldnt really make heads or tails of what happen.
Soon after that email I did a bad thing , I call his voice mail on his cell phone and some DUMB "A" left his location and time and guess who jumped in their truck to confront this Jack "A" LOL I am bad about that , i cant help myself ...I just love the look on other addicts when psycho wife shows up and turns their night into a mess. However I only got a mile down the road when luck would have it my A passes me on the road , so U turn and back home , driving like a maniac he was and that will be addressed later as well.... I know I know , just shut up , no confrontation.... I try to let him know what actions he took just so he is not oblivious to the lives that he put in danger .
He put his cell phone in water and flushed his sim card *sigh* ... has a job that needs to be done today but he will have to face that tomorrow when reality hits him. For today sleep is number 1. Tomorrow it will be a new cell phone and finish a job. MOnday will be hopefully detox center. If all goes my way, has it yet no.... but that is the plan anyhow.
I know... "You poor poor fool" .... I promise I wont do this forever, but I still have some fight left in me. There is a line, I just dont know where it is yet.
Oh I remember well the looks on the faces of the other addicts when I would show up, crazier than they were and I was totally sober! Sounds like you are aware of your actions regarding the A and that you are becomming uncomfortable with your reactions. That is how it happenened for me. I became aware. I continued on with my reactions to the A whatever they maybe, but the longer I came here and the more uncomfortable I became, the easier it became to do it differently. You are not a poor fool. I know I had to exhaust myself and every single option before I would really let it go. And that is ok. You are right, there is a line and you will reach it. And when you get there you will have this program and all of us to support you in whatever your decision will be. All that we do till we get there is preparation.
HC, I am five feet tall and I LOVED the guilty, shoe shuffling I got when I'd walk into the room with my A and his little drug buddies. Or I'd answer the door when one was on the front porch and enjoy how he backed up a few steps like I was gonna slap him.
'Course it was not real power, I know that because it NEVER stopped them from sliming up to the house and seeing if their sugar daddy was there. The thrill was short lived and never became anything I could use except to whack myself with.
I had a metric ton of fight in me until it ran out. It takes a LOT of energy to survive life with an actively using A . . . a meth addict is no picnic in the park, I know from personal experience.
You'll know where the line is when you cross it. It's different for everyone, and you won't "wonder" if you crossed it or not . . . you will definitely know. I wish you Godspeed and increasing awareness as you go forward, as well as the strength to deal with whatever comes your way. Kim :)
Are you crazy??? lol Please be careful when dealing with a meth addict. Meth will turn your beloved A into someone who could kill you and not remember and also his "friends". Nothing is worth your life. I hope your A finds recovery and you as well. You're in my prayers. Please be careful.
Everything you guys have said makes ton of sense to me, I apprecaite you all taking the time to share with me. Im getting there and will get there...
Today was getting my work done and catching up n some much needed sleep...
I am very aware of what the meth A is capable of trust me I have my wits about me, he even freeked out all the A buddies last night is why he came here for me to babysit him all night ,They got scared of him , but it was a combo of drugs and maybe 3 hrs sleep in 6 days, his brain was shutting down like it or not, he was not in his right mind at all, if need be I can use my horse hobbles on him LOL j/k
The pattern is over do the opiates go to wake up using meth, in the old days it was to much alcohol use coke, the other was easier to deal with IMO ... but HEY heres an idea!!! How about we do none of it?? Crzy concept ... I KNOW!
(((HC)))) Good to hear you found the detox place, whether it works or not. At least you have solutions to offer should the time be right. Take care of you first and foremost. PW
I couldnt really make heads or tails of what happen. 
no.... but that is the plan anyhow. 
,They got scared of him , but it was a combo of drugs and maybe 3 hrs sleep in 6 days, his brain was shutting down like it or not, he was not in his right mind at all, if need be I can use my horse hobbles on him LOL j/k 
How about we do none of it?? Crzy concept ... I KNOW! 
