The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
sometimes I get stuck in a time warp. I forget that what others say, think, or do doesn't HAVE to affect me unless I let it. I have control over my mood, my circumstances, how I let people treat me, the actions I take to assume responsibility for my life, whereas I didn't have that control when I was a child. Thinking about this has just reminded me about how I really do need to keep those slogans at hand.
What a good subject . . . it is natural for a child to know their power is so limited. I believe I got myself into the mess I'm in because I didn't believe I was capable enough, responsible enough, whatever enough, to do it for myself.
It's so true about allowing stuff to affect you. It's been very hot, muggy, I have PMS, and yesterday while watering the animals my water ran out. I'm on a well, which meant something went haywire in the pump shed. Since I got the A out of here last month, I can't go tell him to fix it . . .
I almost felt depressed. AND I needed to go to the bathroom!! Lots of woods around here for privacy, but still.
This silly song from Rudolf the Rednose Reindeer (that claymation show that came on once a year at Christmas YEARS ago) kept going through my head, "Put one foot in front of the other . . . and soon you'll be walking 'cross the flo oo ooor!"
I got out all the paperwork on the stupid pump and pressure tanks and edumacated myself. I still couldn't figure it out, so when a helpful neighbor got home from work, he came over and in five minutes the water was gushing. I know how to fix it myself next time, and probably how to at least diagnose what might go wrong next.
I remained remarkable calm, avoided that depressed feeling, and got 'r done. No one died of dehydration and we ALL got to go to the bathroom. All because it just doesn't work to stay passive and dependent. I'm a grown up now, too.
It's good to see that you're at a point in your recovery that you can reason that out for yourself. I still get into that stinkin thinkin, not on purpose, of course, but out of habit. Old habits die hard, that's for sure. I actually did some self-talk to myself today, when I was driving down the road (it was probably funny to the other drivers that I was talking, and no one else was in my car, lolol). It felt pretty good to diffuse the "situation" by telling myself certain alanon principles over and over!
I still get into that stinkin thinkin, not on purpose, of course, but out of habit. Old habits die hard, that's for sure. I actually did some self-talk to myself today, when I was driving down the road (it was probably funny to the other drivers that I was talking, and no one else was in my car, lolol). It felt pretty good to diffuse the "situation" by telling myself certain alanon principles over and over! 