The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, here I am in Kansas. Things are going pretty well with my Mom, I just have to go in the other room now and then and BREATHE!!! Too much togetherness right now. Today went with my sis to take the recycleables to the recycle bins, and to grocery. Had to get out of Mom's house for a while! She had me cornered at the table in the dining room this morning, rehashing stuff I had already heard many times, I got so sleepy, I thought I would pass out! At home, I am in a constant state of work, work, work, and I have a hard time not having much to do here. Have cleaned everything I can think of (but Mom's house isn't even dirty....EVER! But I did scrub the shower and tub, bathroom floor, kitchen counters, etc. while she was in another room or on another floor of the condo. But, it seem like everytime she was downstairs and I was upstairs, I would hear her calling "Becky! Oh, Becky!" AGGHHH! And then she would carry on a conversation I couldn't even hear, so I would have to go back down! I did turn on my Keith Urban CD on my personal player I brought with me REALLY REALLY loud this morning, and it helped. I about blew out my eardrums. Everything here is so calm, it drives me nuts. Maybe I am addicted to chaos. My Mom is a perfectionist and everything has to be just right. She comes in my room at night to make sure I'm not too hot, too cold, etc. I AM 53 YEARS OLD! Geez! I don't mean to sound ungrateful, because I love my Mom, she just drives me nuts. She will "nicely" tell me and my sisters how to dress, acts, talk, always wants to control the situation, and the people in it. My Dad was an A, can you tell???? On a positive note, I took her to Walmart Sunday, and 3 cashiers came up and said "Oh, there's my favorite customer! Your Mom! She is so sweet!" I guess you know you have arrived when your Mom is fawned over by Walmart employees! LOL Have heard from my A a couple of times. He is being very nice on the phone, telling me to have a nice trip and all. Probaby he's happy for the time alone. I did leave him a long letter before I left, he hasn't mentioned it, but that is typical of him....don't talk about your feelings or hopes or desires. I really spilled my guts in that letter. Hope it wasn't the wrong thing to do. I needed to get it out. Thanks to all who replied to my last post, about coming here. Kari, your words brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for all your love and support, and for reminding me that I am worth something, and I do have strength, even tho I can't feel or see it sometimes. I am going to a baseball game (the local hometown team) tonight with my sister, who also drives me crazy, and her husband, who drives me crazy, and my 19 year old "differently-abled" nephew whom I ADORE! He is so much fun, and loves to go to games. I am also taking him bowling tomorrow during the day. Mom's getting her dentures relined, and doesn't want to go anywhere without her teeth! AHH, it feels so good to type! First time I've been able to since Saturday! I am having serious withdrawls. I am across the street from my Mom's at my sister's right now on her computer. I need a laptop! I will be heading home Sat. Hope you all have a wonderful 4th of July. Thanks again for all your love and support....again, sorry this is so long, but boy....do I feel BETTER! Love in Recovery, Becky1
Glad you had a safe trip. ENJOY not having to do anything. If you get the chance, read my 4th of July post and lmt's response. The daily read from Hazelden is very appropriate. HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!
Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
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