The material presented
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I was surprised how my six year old spoke to him, both girls did. They said "dad, do you not like us anymore? Because you promised you would come this weekend and you didn't. You lied" I was like oh wooooooow! He said "it's a long story, I'll tell you later" and my daughter said "no, tell me now" and he blew it off and just said "I love you always no matter if mommy and daddy are arguing" I don't think they believe it but it saficed them. My son was very nonchalant. AH asked why he was so quite. I think my ah knows that my son is not interested in the story and is taking him not being here hard and WILL turn against his father if he's not careful. AH wouldn't talk to me, he hung up. Poor Ah, he's such the victim :( waaaaaaaaaa AH sent an e-card to the kids saying he will make it up to them. What a load. His way of making it up to them is sending them money. He thinks they can be bought. I'm just glad I am their mother because I will make sure they are happy and healthy. I will protect them and they know that. Those of you who do not have children with your A, your lucky. Take it from me.....it's 100 times harder with children because you can not stop their hearts from hurting :( Sad thing is I don't know if my ah is drinking or not (I think so). He just may really be an jack-hole.
I just read your post today (Tuesday). I am going through all of the posts trying to find some insight.
I understand the whole Dad and Kids bit. My AH has always been really good at making promises to the kids and not following through. My daughter thought for a while that Daddy didn't like our new house and that was why he stayed away so much. My son knew the truth and wouldn't speak to my AH for a while after he returned from a binge...I was always afraid this would piss my AH off and a fight might break out....never did though. Hopefully it never will.
Back in the early part of the year, after I kicked my AH out, he realized I wasn't believing his lies or even willing to hear them any more. So he quit talking to me BUT continued to feed those empty promises to the kids. He would come by for a visit and bring them candy (all he could afford) and wear a great big smile like all was ok.
I am glad we are through that tough time. He is back home and clean & sober right now. We'll see how long it lasts.
You keep sticking to your boundries. And show those wonderful kids of your loads of love and support. :)
