The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So my sober AH was pouring himself a glass of iced tea last night, in a huge glass mug. He looked at the mug for a moment and said "I never did use this for it's intended purpose." So I said "What purpose was that?" "Well, it was supposed to be my drinking mug when I went TDY." So I chuckled a little, and asked him why only for when he was away. He said "I didn't want to use it at home. I didn't want you to think I was an alcoholic." I honestly could not help myself, I burst out laughing and asked him if he was serious. Unfortunately, he was. Like I just never noticed that he had to hold himself up with the wall every night to make it the bedroom. I wish I could crawl inside his mind sometimes..... but then I don't. Know what I mean?
Yup, it's not "too far" different from the distorted ways I've known myself to think, besides spending several months drinking heavily myself and trying to convince myself I wasn't heading down the road to alcoholism :D
Your sober A made a remarkable observation about himself though. It seems like a big deal when a sober A begins to clear and sees how distorted their thinking used to be.
That made me chuckle , your hubby has a sence of humor laugh with him hon and enjoy . Alcoholic thinking is off the wall your post reminded me of something my husb sharred with me when he had left our home for a few months many yrs ago now . He said it was like a new toy when he could buy 5 cases of beer at once and take them into his apt , there was no one there to see ( family) and he could drink in peace no one watching him . then he said he got worried that the guy at the liquor store might think he had a problem duh ! so he started to go to 3 diff liquor stores to buy his booze. jeeeeeeeeze enjoy sobriety , don't miss the good stuff . Louise
I sure do. I find it so strange now how he honestly believed he had me bamboozled, and everyone else too.
I just don't get how they can get so many to believe their, the disases,bs?
I mean my A would leave home, go use at Mommies, tell them how horrible I was then come back for months and go visit moms with me, sit with me, get me a drink of water, hold my hand.... geeez
Wish I had a video camera to show him how bad he looked, talked, walked etc so messed up. And how horribly mean he was.
And then they get sober and still think they were ok back when they were not.
Funny ways of thinking....yea...I get that too. Just the other day, my AH and I went grocery shopping and spent a little over $200 for the week's worth of groceries. I told him that I thought he should be in charge of groceries from now on. He seems to think he is better at shopping than me....he says he can spend less money and come home w/more food. So I told him that he should take care of the groceries from here on out. His comment to me: "I took care of EVERYTHING for a long time." And I said: "Yes you did and I contributed all of my paychecks to help you do it too." It amazes me how in his mind he thinks he TOOK CARE of me and the kids...all by himself for all the years we've been married. When in actuality all he did was write the bills by himself (and did a piss poor job of it the last 3 or 4 years). I have always worked and I have always put my entire paycheck in the bank for him to use to write out those bills. Stupid of me I now know but still. But to hear him tell it, it was almost like I didn't work, didn't contribute financially. Amazing to me how his brain works......warped memory. He paints himself into an almost God-like man. Ha. What a joke.
lol, I get a kick out of stories I've heard at open AA meetings they talk about the methods they used to hide their alcoholism, thinking they were getting away with it. Then with sober brains, they realize how distorted their thinking was. The biggest kick of all is when they can face where they were and talk or joke about it.
Your AH has a good sense of humor and so do you. He's talking and being honest - that's good.
