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AH has court today. He had a DWI from last December - his Lawyer post-poned the hearings several times (cause he wanted to get paid). It's been hard for AH to scrounge the xtra $$ to pay everything. I honestly have no idea what he's paid & what he hasn't as far as the fines and probation stuff. I guess that's the only way I wasn't trying to control things - I left it all up to him pretty much - except for a ride to actually go make the payments in person. I did call the lawyer once, got chewed out abt money and tried to make a pymt over the phone to the lawyer - but he didn't take credit/debit - only cash or money order so I didn't end up doing it. Anyway I couldn't go with AH bc of work conflict - the two who could cover for me are both on vacation this wk. So I wrote a letter to the judge - just stating that AH had gone to the AA meeting in town & that we were planning to attend the Spanish Newcomer mtg on Sunday - that he could call me or my parents (he'd talked to them abt wanting to change & getting help) - this is all true & I didn't exaggerate it for the judge. Hopefully he will speak up for himself though - he's pretty shy - and way too conscieous abt his accent even tho he speaks English pretty well. I just got a call from AH - his friend who was taking him to court - his car broke down. Now his lawyer is going to try to reschedule - how many times do the judges let you do that??? I just wanna get this crap over with!! It's been hanging over my head - well his head to - is he going to jail - if he goes to jail will he be deported??? If it wasn't for the latter, honestly I'd be a cold-hearted ***** right now and be like put him in jail he deserves it. But I know there's a chance for things to get better if he's here - jail will do him more harm then good at this point - I left him in jail for two weeks for the DWI - If I'd been more financially stable I'd have left him there for the full 45 days they said he'd have to stay to wait for a hearing. If he were deported, I would not go through the possible heartache of going to the trouble of going over there to be with him and the same crap happen. I will not take that chance, and I've already told him so. Oh well, I guess this post was all for not...Thanks for reading (listening) to my ramblings.
Dear Gurl - You have lots going on. You have the whole deportation to worry about as a consequence of your A's actions that not everyone has. I don't know what the laws are about DWI/DUI and I sure as heck don't know what the laws are when it comes to immigration. Therefore I cannot offer and advice or experience but just wanted to let you know I am keeping y'all in my prayers for a positive outcome. Good luck to you and keep us posted. Sincerely, QOD
I'd be able to detatch alot more if it wasn't for the deportation issue - that's for sure. Thanx QOD - your words and support are a big help in itself. Thanx much for your prayers!!!
That is tough stuff. I'm sure your AH is aware of the consequences and how severe they could be. That is the most difficult part of this disease for me to fathom, that a person can still go ahead and make the choice to continue drinking and risk it all just to get high or drunk. I'm also not familiar with immigration laws but I will keep you both in prayer. HP will work it out the way it needs to be. My AH has had to face those consequences and hard realities of the ruin his disease has left in his life. It's hard being around him when he gets depressed or angry over it, but its part of what he has to go through. It's time for him to clean up his mess the best possible way he can and its completely up to him. What I've had to accept is that he is limited in his choices because of the ruin the disease has left. He may not get a certain job because he has too many points on his driving record, he has the court fees to finish paying, his health, etc. Life is so different for my AH in ways that I will never know but feel it because I'm apart of his life. Take it ODAT and First things First. Remember if he has come to the end of today without a drink or drug, that is something to be grateful for, even if everything else is up in the air.
Peace and Serenity to you and yours, Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
What a tough burden. The A went through lots of rescheduling for his speeding tickets. Now he is about to go ask for more. I used to really fret over it. Now I just have to turn some of it over.
I am glad he went and got an attorney that says a lot.
I have known people who did not get deported with a DWI. You could contact an immigration rights group. I have found unfortunately with getting legal advice I have to ask more than one person.
I'm also afraid, that with everything that's going on w/ immigration debates n issues, and considering we live in TX that the judge will be more biased towards him bc of it. I don't at all think he deserves special treatment - I'm not gonna ask the judge not to put him in jail - but deportation would devestate him & us - completely - it would mean the loss of us and of all resources for him to get better - not to mention the fact that just the deportation alone would probably send him spiraling down further into his addiction. I seriously doubt the area of Mx he's from has the kind of help/support he needs. The thought of that just tears me apart.
Is AH a citizen of the United States? If not, is he here legally? If he is a citizen, he cannot be deported; if he has a green card, he likely will not be deported unless there is more to all this than I read. If he is here illegally, I believe there is every chance he will be deported.
As far as how many times his court proceedings can be postponed, I don't know. Isn't there a bus or taxi he can take to get to his important appointments? Not many judges would take kindly to the "friend's car broke down" excuse.
Good luck,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I just wanna get this crap over with!! It's been hanging over my head - well his head to - is he going to jail - if he goes to jail will he be deported??? If it wasn't for the latter, honestly I'd be a cold-hearted ***** right now and be like put him in jail he deserves it. But I know there's a chance for things to get better if he's here - jail will do him more harm then good at this point - I left him in jail for two weeks for the DWI - If I'd been more financially stable I'd have left him there for the full 45 days they said he'd have to stay to wait for a hearing. If he were deported, I would not go through the possible heartache of going to the trouble of going over there to be with him and the same crap happen. I will not take that chance, and I've already told him so. Oh well, I guess this post was all for not...Thanks for reading (listening
) to my ramblings.
