The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know Alcoholism is a disease, but deep down I never truly believed it until recently. My grandmother should have been in Alanon. She was always the enabler, martyr, and people pleaser. She married 2 alcoholics. She is now 84. She has been back and forth to the hospital this year atleast 12 times. It has taken a toll on the family. She will call me and leave self pitying messages. She called me recently and was hysterical asking me to please come over because she was going to pass out. I arrived at her apartment and she was totally fine. She acted like nothing happened and asked if I wanted a cup of coffee. I was furious! She has moments when she is very angry and aggressive. Sometimes when I call her she will say she is bored, but will not leave her apartment and socialize with anyone in her building. It has been an emotional drain on me. I felt so angry then I felt guilty because I felt anger. I just learned she has dementia. I did research on the disease and learned a lot. My feelings were totally normal. They advise any caregivers of patients with dementia to get help because they need more help than the patient. Caregivers can suffer depression and become physically ill. This reminded me of being the caregiver of an alcoholic and when they say that the person in Alanon is sicker than the alcoholic. Now I truly see alcoholism as a neurological disease and why it makes the whole family sick. Taking care of me!!
Kissers, that's a great comparison. Dementia and alcoholism are a better comparison than alcoholism and diabetes, which is something I always heard used.
For me, this time 'through' with my A's relapse has more or less proven to me it is a disease, mainly by default. It is so outrageous it can't not be a disease, is sort of how I've come to think of it.
But your example of dementia brings it home even better. Thanks for posting this.
So True!!! I do research on dementia & finally learned this connection on a personal level with my A. I still have anger issues trying to deal with disease but even with other diseases, people have anger issues. My mother was very sick with multiple sclerosis since I was 5 & I had a hard time dealing with the fact she was sick & couldn't do things with me like what I considered "normal" parents. I wanted her to "fight" her disease more. " fighting with a disease doesn't always work. We need to look after ourselves first, then we can have more compassion for the sick loved ones. Growing Up, I always thought this was selfish but it's not.
