The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Seems to me that the more my AH loses control with his own life the more he wants to control mine. He told me on Saturday that our marriage would be fine if I just allowed him access to my cell phone and my email account. I told him it wasn't going to happen. The way to have a good marriage is to trust one another. Lord knows I have had to put a lot of faith into that one.
I do have to thank the alanon program for giving me the strength to know that it is 'ok' to say 'no' to him.
Yeah, and another thing he said was that he just figured out last week that 'I' was the reason that he needed to get drunk and use drugs, because of all of the stress that I cause him. Anyone else ever hear that? You don't have to answer, I know that is excuse #1 for an A.
Yes, when my A's life gets out of control he walks right back into mine and acts as if he is the puppet master. Isn't it wonderful to finally become aware of the game, the parts that are played by them and by us. It Gives us that wonderful freeing moment when we realize that we have a choice, and can actually choose to do what it best for us.
Yes, good observation and its par for the course. Think about it like a mom: when a kid gets in trouble, their immediate reaction isn't to take responsibility. It's to blame something or someone for their crisis, whomever that might be, however irrelevant that might be. Same concept here. "I can't be the problem; I'm suffering from it!" and you are right also that you do not have to involve yourself in the problem. Whereas a child need to be taught the lines of responsibility, an alcholic simply needs to suffer the realities of it. You are correct in stating that he will ahve to meet it or have it be met forcefully. Keep us posted. YOu're doing great.
