Sometimes people focus on the problem more than the solution, no matter how much recovery they have. I think to be fair everyone has a day--and hopefully not a lifetime--where they feel as if their world is crashing down and they can't see the sky for the clouds.
Now, sometimes people are in the position I was in for awhile with al anon. It doesn't occur to them that this is a program of working the program. It occurs to them that this is a place where they can whine and bitch and not be interrupted and feel miserable about their lives. The problem comes in that they don't quite connect that teh way to become healthier happier individuals is to take healtheir happier actions. Like working the steps, getting a sponsor, using the literature, and utilizing the tools of the program. Those very important and trite concepts cannot be overstated enough.
Ultimately it is up to each of us whether or not we want to get better and utilize the tools of this program. There is nothing we can do to make someone get healthy, feel teh desire to change, or desire a way of changing. And as it says in Hope For Today, people have a right to not change, or to change when they want to and how. The people in your meeting may simply not want to change. Or, they may be better by simply living in self pity. You, on the other hand, do not have to embrace their way of living. See if there are any other al anon meetings in the area, or if there are al anon meetings in the county. See if you can sacrifice the gas to get to those meetings. And keep trying. It's only your recovery we're talking about.