I am so happy for you! ODAT!(One Day At a Time). Sometimes we have to take it one minute at a time. I am not able to go to f2f, and this board has truly been a sanity saver for me!
I wanted my A to go to AA, but he wouldn't unless I went with him. I called them and asked about it, but they wouldn't let me. Now, I understand that there are open AA meetings, but I wasn't told that at the time. I think he might have continued to go if I could have gotten him through the door, but.. who know's??
He has been sober now for 9 months, on his own, and I think that is just because he was so sick last binge that he thought he was going to die. Summer is started, and this will be the real test for him. Many times, he got through most of the year sober, but Summer came along... Then he could go to his cottage and be compfy while he drank himself to oblivion. The one boundary I am adamant on is that he not drink near me! I hope and pray that this is really the end of the drinking, but I guess I will always have a chip on my shoulder, wondering...
I found that when I found this board, and started to learn about detatching and most of all, looking after ME (one thing for sure, he wasn't going to, he couldn't look after himself!) that was when things started to change for both of us.
With the both of you in a program, I believe you have a LOT going for you. I know I couldn't have made it to where I am without my program! I NEED Alanon and believe I always will. It has helped me in all aspects of my life.
Keep comin' back! With love in the program, TLC

((gknee))

Boy do I know what that FEAR feels like.  I became a bit paralyzed by this FEAR during the first three days my AH came home.  Finally, by the end of the first week I was so anxious and frustrated I couldn't take it.  I just started praying for HP to remove this fear because I knew it would cause some big problems for me in the home if I couldn't hurdle it.  I just kept saying, o.k. I'm going to push through this fear.  I cannot be with him 24/7, I can't be at his meetings, I can't be a fly on the wall when he speaks to his sponser.  I have to let go and trust HP will set me to a place of peace and serenity in my own program.  I felt much better after that and since then when I feel that fear creep back I keep saying its none of my business, its beyond my control, you will be fine whatever happens.  My Plan B comforts me, my sponser, my HP, and just keeping myself busy in my life.  I think its great that he got into AA, one thing that is helping in my house is that we are working hard to try and take our programs and our marriage one day at a time.  I can handle 24 hours at a time anything beyond that is not important.  Some days are good others are not.  Early recovery is difficult, mood swings, old behaviors still presnt that have to be worked out, my behaviors that I still have to confront, and the day to day stuff of life. 

One Day At A Time GKnee, keep working it. 

Twinmom~

(((Jeanne))) So nice to see you taking care of you coming here ;) Watching my A get sober was one of the most amazing transformations I have ever been blessed to witness. Although all of the problems did'nt vanish with it, just to see the person he truly was intended to be minus the substance was moving.
I too found my way to the rooms of alanon upon his arriving at AA. I was not all that convinced I needed to be here in the beginning ,but saw soon after he put the booze down,and quieted down,my craziness still prevailed. Kicking and screaming I arrived ,upon the "sugguestion" of an old-timer in one of my A first AA meetings. I simply asked what I could do to help ,and his response was "Stay outta Gods way, and get your ass to an alanon meetin". THE NERVE!!!! lol Soooooooo,off I went the next day....Took some time to "get it" but I knew shortly after I arrived that I was "home" and I was in the right place. Fast forward 6 yrs later, I'm still here...My kids are much happier kids as a result of my program and their dads.  They actually are experienceing "childhood" as a child should, instead of worrying and running out of fear. I'm very grateful. Unfortunately there was too much damage done thru the active years for our marriage to be repaired, and we both played a role there. But we are great friends today. We parent apart better than we ever parented together. I am very grateful for his  sobriety ,and today it is still odat. He stays sober by the grace of God and AA . I stay sane If I keep coming back and making meetings. It works if you work it...Today I choose to work it ,cause I'm woth it. ;) So glad you found us ,keep coming back ~ Carla