The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I found the A somewhere to live. The issue is he is probably going to take a few days to move in as there is a lot of moving and adjustng to do. In the meantime he makes no income.
I guess the priority is to get him off the street and out of the bind of just being on survival.
I could allow myself to feel incredibly resentful that I have had to do a lot of this work. I will have to see if the A does the footwork he needs to in order to get this place together.
When I first told him about it he was his normal argumentative self that is diffiuclt to deal with. Over the past few days he has been incredibly cooperative but he is stuck in a bind.
The people who were living in my house have not moved out despite a notice from the landlord. They dont' really have to. In theory they are supposed to be out today. On Sunday I could not bear to be around them for one second. I notice my rage at my landord is much more clear cut than my rage at the A. The A did the same totally insensitive stuff of not really taking my feelings into account. At ths same time I think he really felt for that homeless couple and did not know how to set limits with them once they got their manipulation going. The landlord was well aware this guy was trouble but because he paid him a huge deposit he took him on regardless of the consequences to the rest of us. I think there is a difference but I guess its easier to have limits with the landlord than the A.
In my ideal world I'd just like to leave where I am staying and move on. In theory I don't have the energy to do it. So I have to put up with it for a while. I hate to give money to someone as insensitive and greedy as the landlord. I can see his staff really stressed over this issue. The manager of the building is really upset. So its quite a lesson in detachment for me. Before I would have organized a mutiny.
I am not feeling as tired and wretched as I have been but at the same time i'd really like to get the A off the street and not have to worry about him anymore.
I also know I feel some anxiety he will let me down. I think he's learned something from this homless odyssey but we will have to see.
Hi, Maresie! It sure would be hard watching if my partner were in that situation. Part of me would be saying it's his doing and his to deal with, and maybe it's part of hitting his bottom. The other part, and I'm guessing it's the part that would win out, would say it's just so awful, and if I can help him, I should. That's a hard one....
I hope there soon comes a time where you can leave this all behind you, get your dogs and maybe even your truck back, and start your new life, complete with a beautiful garden again. What a wonderful thing that would be!
I may well get to that point of walking away. Right now there is too much to walk away from in terms of pets and my belongings. In time there may not be. The A sense that. I set a bottom line with him today. I am not paying a certain bill of his unless he does things for me. He wants to go off on his usual tangent of working for nothing. I am through with that. I am through hearing about it. I am through listening to it and I am through hearing him complain about it.
I do notice that I am incredibly uptight. I do know for me that this latest issue with my housemates has sent me right over the edge. I have serious serious ptsd issues and simply cannot be around people acting out.
In the last two weeks I have had to deal with not one but three housemates getting seriously drunk and carrying on. I have had it up to here with it.
